Dear Zoe Murphy

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It was the end of the second quarter in the morning when Evan got an email from the School Principal. He opened it and read "Hello. Is this Evan Hansen?". "Uhhhh...Yes?" he replied. While he waited all he could do was think. Was there something he did wrong? IS he in trouble? He waited nervously for a response. "This is your High School Principal. How is college going for you Evan?" Evan didn't like this. Why couldn't they just tell him what was going on.
"It...it's ok i guess...". Why were they even asking how college is, they never cared about him in high school. "Alright well by any chance do you know Zoe Murphy?" Evan broke a sweat, the Murphy's were involved. "Yes...What about her?" He waited again in a nervous silence. "Well she wrote you a letter".
"She...she did?" He tried to calm down not knowing what to expect. "Yes and here it is you can read it yourself".
He read "Dear Evan Hansen,
Turns out you were right about a lot of things. It's not going to be an amazing day or year. Nothing is ever going to get better. Everything you told me about my brother. I still wish you were right. That he cared the way you said he did although we all know that's not true. My parents had forgotten your lies and how you failed your words. I haven't, how could I? It was too good to lose. Not just the sweet knowledge of your sibling feeling love and caring for you but also the feeling of love towards you. You would say that's good but while you have been found, I have been lost, and i'm afraid this time I can't be pulled up. Sincerely, Me.¨ Evans heart pounded frantically in his chest in pain. Reading this made him worried for her, what could this mean. He gulped nervously as he replied. ¨ She-she wrote that? How did you get it? Why didn't she just give it to me herself?¨ He sent off the message and waited again in a nervous silence. ¨She couldn't.¨ He read then quickly replied ¨ Why couldn't she?¨ Ḧis heart pounded faster and faster. ¨Because when we found it thats all we had left of her¨. His hands started to sweat and his heart was pounding hard and he was trying to calm down,¨ What do you mean?¨. ¨They were her last words¨. His heart stopped it pain for a minute, ¨She...she's dead?¨. He ended the conversation after that, he knew it was true even though he didn't want to believe it. This was all his fault. He couldn't believe he made this happen. He grieved to himself for a straight out 20 minutes wondering how he should have done something. DING! Came another email, he expected the principal but when he opened the computer he saw it was Jared. He read his email slowly " Hey Evan, did you hear about Zoe? You know Zoe Murphy" , he started to type " Yes I know". Their conversation went on "Fuck. Who told you?" Jared asked. " I got her letter from the principal" responded Evan. " Oh and who knew she still had feelings for you even after what you did. No wonder she killed herself." Jared replied. "So, how did you find out? Did they announce it or anything?" Evan asked attempting to change the mood a bit feeling really guilty now. "Oh no, I saw the letter." Jared replied. Evan sat in complete silence. No they couldn't, they wouldn't, would they?" . "No,.. please don't tell me that everyone saw the letter and its going around the school". Evan sweated in panic and fear. He hoped, he prayed that it wasn't true. "Dude it's a fucking suicide note. Of course everyone in the school is gonna see it. It's on posters, the school newspaper, it's everywhere. In fact everyone knows what happened now and its considerably your fault for Zoe Murphy's death." Evans heart pounded faster, his emotions giving him pain. It felt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart. It was his fault. If only he had stayed how he was, if he had never gotten his chance to belong in the first place Zoe Murphy would still be alive. If only he had just accepted that he will never belong. "Oh my god" was all he could reply with. Maybe things would have just been better if he hadn't survived falling out of that 10 foot oak tree in Ellison State Park. "Don't worry Zoe is getting a lot of hate too. Rumors are going around that she was just trying to make you seem like a bad person cuz your exs, but most of the hate is towards you. Anyways I have to go now I have lots of work to do and also don't think that because I emailed you means were friends I still only talk to you because my parents force me too. Bye". Evan then goes to write himself a letter. "Dear Evan Hansen,
Today you learned something. Something that will haunt you forever. Why would it be a good day? Year. Or life. When you pretty much already ruined everything. There's nothing to do, But hope.
Sincerely, Me.
Evans mother Heidi Hanson walks into his room. "Good Morning Evan" she said. Evan hesitated for a moment but soon greeted her back. "Morning, and yes I know about Zoe.." He said expecting for her only to be there to tell him about her. Evan finally looked at his mothers worried face. "Zoe? What are you talking about? I was gonna ask if you did your letter yet." Evan then realized he shouldn't have said anything and he just gives her a reassuring nod. "What happened to Zoe?" Heidi asked. Evan sighed and responded. "She ended up like Connor". Heidi completely shocked tries to comfort him about it. "Oh my?! I'm so sorry dear!" then her phone rings and she looks at it "Oh sorry Evan I have to take this" she picks the phone up "Hello. Yes" she walks out the room. Evan sighed again and emailed Zoe's parents Larry and Cynthia Murphy. "Hello Mr and Mrs Murphy. I just heard about Zoe. I am extremely sorry for your loss. It is completely my fault, I made her feel that way". Evan knowing Zoe's parents, knew they would be mourning Zoe's death too much to respond so he didn't expect a response. Just then Evan got emailed by Alana. "Hello Evan, Do you remember The Connor Project because I'm bringing it back and now it's called The Murphy Project. This time we actually have a real story and we can use the letter as some proof. We can make people feel like they aren't alone I just need you help on extra details". Evan disagrees "No. It's her private business. I can't do it. Good luck to you Alana". "Good for you Evan" Evan reads and then imagines Zoe Murphy. "Evan if you do this they'll forgive you eventually. Do this. If not for me and my brother then for everyone else". Evan sighs and responds to Alana. "Fine,I'll do it" and quickly sees a response. "Great! Let's get started as soon as possible! Meet me at the school library at the end of the week". Evan responds "I'll be there" then goes and writes another letter.
"Dear Zoe Murphy,
Everything you say is true. Nothing will ever get better, but although you are gone I will still pull you back up. Even though you can be found, doesn't mean you'll stay that way. I will do this for you and Connor and everyone. I will show them their not alone even if it means that I am. Rest In Peace Zoe Murphy.
Sincerely,
Your friend and ex boyfriend Mark Evan Hansen.

1321 words
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