My Stepbrother secret obsession

My Mind Had Tangled In-between Insecurities And My Sudden Faded Self-esteem

The nightstand alarm went off, chiming continuously until I annoyedly whacked the thing with a throw pillow.

Groaning, my face still buried in these soft pillows that mom brought here last year after she and Christian were legally married, I wouldn't say I remember what happened next, but another irritating alarm broke into a particular sound sleep I must have dozed off to after my pillow strike had mute the first alarm.

Agitated, I shoot upward, intending to toss the stupid device against the wall when my eyes fall on my mobile phone, over my iPad, my laptop, tripods. Everything I possess that was taken away from me yesterday is back, either sitting by my nightstand or standing by the swinging chair.

Is this a dream, or did she really return everything?

Spontaneously, my lips spread into an unrepressed smile at the idea of interacting with my hundreds of thousand followers again, but I must admit, there's a sliver of hope that mom had regretted what happened yesterday's afternoon, and it makes me feel much better, not that I wasn't better because assuming I woke up to nothing like the vibration of my mobile device, I still will be smiling like a wanker. I mean, yesterday was terrible to some extent, but it ended up getting better than a tv fairytale.

It's hard to close my eyes without having the rerun of every moment shared with Leigh. Someone might take me as a fool, but until now, I agree with something Evie once said to me when I was falling apart after Leigh left. 'My world revolves around only one person, despite all the other beauties there is around me.'

Indeed, she was right.

But how wouldn't such a man capture me? When his beaming smile is like the gleam of sunrise, unfurling beauty and brightness gradually, until it dominates the darkness, illuminating every shade of gloominess.

Although I have to think logical, if mom had changed her mind, it must mean something.

The thing is, in the past year, it wasn't only me that changed; mom did a lot too. Her promises never waver. She does exactly what she swore. Mom doesn't hold back or reverse her words; it was the foundation of our fallen relationship, watching her become tougher and difficult to understand; I thought there was no point in being open anymore. She doesn't understand. She doesn't care.

All that mattered to her was either helping Lilith acquire her brats desires or Christain words around the dining table or on the couch on movie nights when she would frequently warn me to keep my mobile phone aside and focus while she, on the other hand, making small talks with Christian and giggling endlessly, like a girl my age.

I barely mattered. My GPA didn't make a difference anymore, how I went to bed or leave to school was no more in her consideration, the way I dressed or made my hair was not her problem unless it was country clubs occasions when every family is portraying flawlessness, then that's the part she would scold me for changing my hair colour, for becoming more skinnier than the last time she brought me a dress.

Sawyer believed it was the influence of power and money, having everything you wish for present at the preferred time you want. She claims it was what changed my mother.

All I know is, it sucks that she was absent at the year I needed her the most. If Christian weren't understanding, I'd have gone crazy because it was always "I can't believe you are so immature, Ava." "How can you be so stupid, Ava?" "what is wrong with you, Ava?" "you think what you did was okay, Ava? You're grounded for two weeks." "you will help the housekeepers with the chores; that should teach you some manners, Ava."

And the confusing part is, she was so kind to Lilith no matter what trouble she pulled. That at the end of every day to Lilith, mom will always be "She's just a teenager, she's going through a lot, Christian." "it's going to be alright? My dear." "life wouldn't always be apples and berries, but we are here for you, Lilith." "you are going through some changes, I understand; I wouldn't question you for that."