"Rombha mokkaya iruka?", Ashwin whispered into Ani's ears after 30 minutes of CWC talk.
(Is it boring you to death?)
Seated between Ashwin and Pugazh on either side, Ani had been stuck in an impossible situation. Though he tried to act like he was as cool and thrilled by the reminiscence of hilarious events on sets as the rest of them, his suffering was blatant on his face.
But that wasn't all that made him feel uneasy. It was the fact that they were sharing so many things about his Sivu which he wasn't purview to while Ashwin seemed to be her person in that universe.
Just like a sandcastle crushed by a wave, Ani's assumption that he knew her best was washed away in under 30 minutes. It was heartbreaking for him to feel like an outsider in his Sivu's life and that's exactly how was feeling at that moment.
Wishing to wake up from this nightmare, he turned to look at Ashwin who was meticulously reading his expression.
"Konjam apdi dan iruku", he whispered back with a fake smile to make it seem less obvious to the rest of the group who were still busy laughing at a video from the sets.
(Just a little)
Something about Ani was different that night. Even as a person who did not know him too well, Ashwin could sense the unease and tense on his face, albeit unaware that he played a huge part in it.
And if he could, then so could she.
Sivaangi, seated between Kani akka and Master, was sulking with guilt.
Somehow the conversation had turned to discuss very specific incidents from the past about Ashwin and herself, which everyone but Ani was aware of. To witness the way his face lost its smile for every detail about her that wasn't known to him, was brutal.
Though Ani knew that the show was her big break and all of the people she worked with were like family, she consciously chose not to delve into details of it with him.
Ashwin. Her memories with him. Those 10 months of magic were just hers. To hold and behold. Forever. He wasn't coming back, and she had to find a way to live with that pain forever.
So, she did the one thing that seemed possible. To bury all her memories and feelings to herself and act like nothing ever happened.
It had worked great until he popped out of thin air like magic, once again.
She still had a hard time believing that he was back for real and let him in when the voice in her head echoed her deepest vulnerabilities that he had caused.
Remorse and distress suffused her conscious. To be responsible for making Ani feel lonely was suffocating.
She needed for him to know that she had her reasons. She wanted to hug him tight and let him know that he was the only reason she was sane after all that happened.
She yearned to scream that Ani was, is and will always be her person, when she felt Ashwin's gaze on her. Their eyes locked only for a brief second and that was all that he needed to recognize her pang of agony and ache.
A sudden ping on her mobile distracted her back to reality.
Manna: Ani will be ok. I will take care of him. Un alavuku ilanaalum... Edo konjam.
(Ani will be ok. I will take care of him. Though its impossible to take care like you do, I will try)
She smiled at the message, knowing that his eyes were still very much on her.
Rowdy: Bromance ah?
Manna: Apdiyum solalaam.
(You could say that)
