the art
of life
is letting
go.
-"I don't know how you are so familiar to me- or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conc...
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__________ tw; mention of sh
Elizabeth jumps off the bed and runs after Wilhemina. I didn't react. I was frozen. I heard them talk pretty loudly outside the room;
-"Ms. Venable, wait! Please!"
-"I saw enough!"-Wilhemina yelled while tears poured from her eyes, smudging her makeup.
-"It wasn't anything serious-"-Elizabeth said and Wilhemina threw the little note on the floor before rushing back to her room, Elizabeth going after her.
I pick up the note to see what Wilhemina wrote, even though I wasn't interested in hearing any apologies. I lay on my bed and start reading;
It's hard waking up without you beside me. I question life's worth without you in it. It's dark without you. I just need to know, sweetheart, is this how we end? Or when will the pretending stop? Tell me now, because we'll never have today again.
You put the paper down, thinking about what you've just read. Is this really how we end? I love you Wilhemina, but I can't forgive you.
And that's how the months wasted on. Wasted on sitting and watching our scars that never healed. They say time heals, but in fact it just makes things worse. Maybe we were meant to be, just not at this time I thought.
*** I hop out of bed one morning and burning pain shoots down my arm. That's when I remembered, what lays under my sleeves. I've been ruining my own life. My own self.
I make my way to the dining table and I sit beside Elizabeth, like every morning. She notices how I'm grasping my left wrist tightly in hopes to get a break from pain. Self harm wasn't a new thing to me. And like every time since we were kids, Elizabeth gently lifts my sleeve and starts drawing shapes with her finger over my scars. Hearts and stars. It calms me down and makes me forget about the pain.
Ms. Venable together with Ms. Mead by her side suddenly appeared in the room;
-"I have an announcement. The Cooperative is arriving today. They are coming to test us and determine who is worth taking to the sanctuary."-the first time in forever on Wilhemina's face you could see fear, sadness, actual emotion. A man beside you obviously noticed too, so he whispers to his friend;-"Uh-oh looks like somebody shit their pants..."-you give him a disgusted look.
In the past few weeks you completely lost your appetite. It would take you up to an hour to eat one single cube.
Only you and Wilhemina were left by the table. That was actually the thing she always did. Even if done with her meal, she'd wait for you to finish so you aren't by the table alone.
You stand up and so does she. She trips over her long dress but before getting a chance to fall, you catch her. Your hands were gently wrapped around her waist. This was the closest you've been to her in months. You felt the beautiful scent of jasmine coming from her hair. Her brown eyes well set on yours. The closer you got, you could see, even smell, the gloss on her lips. That's what made you realize, I was never over her.
I fought the war, but the war won;
-"Ms. Venable I-"-before I get a chance to finish, she presses her lips against mine.
