"I thought I'm the one who trap you into my world, but I guess I'm wrong"
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Love is not as simple and easy as you think. It can be happy, it can be complicated, it can teach you a lesson so you learn and fix it...
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"How do you like the place?", I asked her.
"I'm not like it, but I love it! It is so breathtaking", She said and take a deep breath. I bring her to Jusangjeolli Cliff where I think the perfect place for relaxing our minds. We can't have this kind of feeling when we are back in Seoul.
"I'm going to miss this place", She added.
"Should we come here sometimes? It's so relaxing right?", I asked her.
"Sure! I would love to. By the way Mark, I know this question is quite private for you, but I can't hold myself from asking", She said. I looked at her.
"Just ask. I will answer it honestly", I replied.
"Actually, I saw a lot of missed calls from Aera since the morning by accident. Are you guys not on good terms?", She asked me.
"Oh about that. Honestly, everything was fine. But not until last night", I said.
"What's wrong?", She asked curiously.
"She has an affair behind of me and...", I said.
"And?", She said.
"She has a reason to be with me, from the beginning. Simply to say, she is following me all this time because of money and my property. Not because of her being sincere", I explained to her and smile bitterly.
"Suit her", She said.
"You didn't shock hearing this?", I asked her. She shook her head.
"To be honest, I always feel suspicious with her. I just feel she didn't sincere with you. I don't know why, but I guess that feeling was right. Do you remember when you told me that Aera was the one who told you to marry me? From that, I realized something. She must have something that she chases for. There is no woman that wants to let her man marry another girl. For this situation, she chases your object matter which is your richness", She said.
"You are right about that. That's exactly the truth", I said and remind myself of what I heard last night. It's really hurt. Especially the part about the badmouth of my late mom.
"So, are you guys breaking up? Did she know that you already found out the truth?", She asked.
"She didn't know yet. About breaking up, I think that is my solution right now. I'm too blind about her. I thought she really sincere with me but turned out she betray me. I guess I'm really stupid all this time right? Don't answer it. I know I'm stupid. Just, it more hurt if you answer it", I said and looked at Jennie. She laughed.
"Should I answer it or not? Should I or not? Umm, let me think", She teased me and laughed.
"I said don't answer it", I said and laughed.
"No, I want to answer it. Mark, you are really stupid!!!", She shouted loud as she can. She laughed.
"I am!!!", I shouted too.
Two of us laughed and look at each other. Slowly our smiles fade.
"I told you about myself. Can I know about yours now? About your past relationship", I said.
"What do you want to know?", She asked.
"What type of person is he? How did he end up being like that? And how are you all of this time?", I asked curiously. She smiles.
"His name is Kim Jongin, but people call him Kai. He was a very kind man. Someone that warm that you wish to always have him in your life. I never feel that kind of love from a guy. He is so affectionate and lovely. He makes me happy in his own way and never disappoints me. Someone that never stops loving me, although his life was hard. He was sick since he was a child. One disease to one disease. He is easy to catch with it, bipolar, anemia, depression, and sometimes got short breathiness attacks due to his lung condition. We've been together for 7 months and last 7 months he was very sick. And the doctor said that he can't live longer. But I didn't expect it to happen too soon. Before our 7 month anniversary, he was gone. We did talk the last night and it happens to be our last conversation. My situation during that time, I feel already prepared for that moment since I got the hint from him. Of course, I miss him so much and I love him so much too. I always tried to find him in the morning as I did, but the moment I know the two of us can't talk anymore, it really hurt me. Slowly I tried to accept it until one day, my two best friends left me. To be honest, that's where the moment I hurt the most. That moment make me crave comfort from Kai the most and since that day, the pain never went away", She told me her story.
(Author: Instead of using common disease, I decided to use what does happen of someone that I know in my real-life )
Hearing those stories make me feel her pain. The pain she has been holding on to and hiding behind those sweet smiles. She seems cheerful, but her heartbreak into pieces.
"I'm so sorry for that. I should ask you sooner. I'm was being too harsh to you last night", I apologize. She shook her head.
"It's fine Mark. If you ask me sooner, maybe I will never tell you about this. Because you ruined my trust that moment, on our wedding day", She said. I look down.
"I'm so sorry, Jennie. You may think saying sorry for me is easy to say, don't you? Because I keep saying it", I said. She nodded.
"But I never lied about being sorry. I do it sincerely. I hurt you so much from the beginning. I'm not forgiven for that. But Jennie, do you think I got a chance to fix everything back?", I asked her.
"Fix everything? Which part?", She asked me.
"Us. Our marriage. I don't want it to be fake anymore", I said.
"Mark, this can't be too soon like this. I'm not in good condition and the same goes for you. Two of us still finding what is good for us. What if we did a mistake and end up hurting each other? You know why I'm marrying you. Because I want to have my freedom. Because I can't move on from Kai yet. And you, you are still not in your stable mind to make a serious decision", She said and look deeply at me. I looked at the sea.
"What if I'm in good condition to make my decision?", I asked her back.
"Then put your efforts and prove it to me. I gave you a chance before, but you ruined it. I'm giving you another chance. I'm not promising you anything, because you know my condition. If you come to me, maybe it will hurt you even more after all of this time happen. I'm not going easy on you, Mark Tuan", She said seriously.
"I'm a risk-taker. I will prove it to you", I said and smiled. Jennie looks at me and finally, a smile appears on her lips. She looks so beautiful.
"I will look for it", She said and look at the sea.
Thank you, Jennie, for giving me another chance to fix everything. I promise that I will never disappoint you again. ______________________________________ -Jennie POV-
The moment Mark asks for being serious about our marriage, to be honest, I feel scared. What if he hurt me again? I couldn't fully trust him. Plus, my feelings for Kai are still bigger and I'm afraid it will only turn out to be Mark's disappointment. Because of this fact, I'm still in love with another guy.
And Mark, he just knows the truth about Aera. Maybe he can make mistakes due to his mind right now. He must have anger burn down inside of his heart. It could be an act of revenge on Aera by using me. That's why I'm not going easy on him.
I will look forward to him. If he succeeds, I will think about it. About my feelings, I will take care of them. Although it's hard, I'm giving him a second chance to fix everything that he has done and a second chance for myself to let go of my past that I have been stuck in all of this time.
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