Bridgerton - A Girl To Remember

Chapter Thirty-one

I sit on the bed, staring through the window again. My eyes are watery and my heart is shattered apart. I had prepared this night well, I really had a plan;

It was afternoon, we had just had lunch and the preparations were beginning, everyone was nearly running around to pick the right dress, get their hair done properly and look at their best. The maids were rushing through the house, helping wherever they could, and then I saw him. Colin was leaning against a pillar, looking at the chaos unfolding in front of him, grinning when a maid ran past him. He was not in a hurry, he was as relaxed as possible, his hair was done, his suit was on, he was ready to go. And honestly, he looked dashing. His suit fitted him perfectly and when I came to stand next to me, I saw we were evenly tall. Which gave an exquisite idea, something he would love and Anthony would hate with his whole heart,

"Cousin, enjoying the chaos?" I ask,

"I love it when this happens" he smirks and then looks at me, "should you not be getting ready as well?"

"I do, indeed. But I need some help..."

"you are asking me? If anyone has zero fashion sense, it is I"

"I do not exactly need your opinion, only your clothes," I say bluntly,

"my clothes? Whatever would you need them fo-.." and then he realized what I was planning, "oh Anthony is going to hate you for this..." he looks at me and I bite my lip, "I love it" his eyes light up and I sigh relieved,

"I knew you would"

"come on, I know just what you can wear" he takes my hand like an excited kid and I follow him while laughing. He brings me to his room and I realize this is the first time I get to see it. It is a little bigger than mine, walls painted blue, completely clean and neat. Colin opens his closet and searches through all the clothes hanging there,

"yes, this is it" he takes out a suit on a hanger and must compliment him, it is perfect. It is not too noticeable, no weird colors or heavy decoration, just a plain but strong suit that matches my eyes,

"I thought you were not good at fashion?"

"not at dresses, no, but I am able to pick my own clothes by now cousin" I smile and he hands me the suit, "I will leave you alone now, if you need any help, I'll be right outside"

"thank you, Colin"

"no problem, I'd do anything to see Anthony's face when he notices you" he smiles evilly and I laugh. A few minutes later I am in the suit and it feels a little odd, very masculine and a little heavy, but also very powerful. I call Colin in to help me with the back and he smiles wickedly when he sees me,

"wow"

"do not stare like that, help me out" I joke and he adjusts the suit for me. He gets me some boots as well and we look proudly into the mirror,

"We did a good job"

Until that point, the afternoon went great, I was nervous I will admit, but I was also very excited, and it felt good. This was going to be my last ball, my last chance to make a difference, so I would do anything to grab the attention. Only that was not what happened, because as Colin predicted, Anthony was not so glad to see me in his little brother's suit;

"what are you wearing? We are headed to a BALL" he sounds furious,

"you told me I could do whatever I wanted. So I did."

"Olivia, do you truly think this will attract men?"

"no, maybe not, but I could not care less. As I have made clear last time"

"I am not sitting in a carriage with.. this..."

"I will sit with Colin, or Eloise, it does not matter"

"YES, IT DOES. You are still with us, you are with our family!"

"you said you did not care what I did at this ball!"

"well, then I made a mistake. You are not going. Not in my carriage. Not in any carriage of ours. If you wish t attend that ball, get a carriage yourself!"

"wait what? You cannot do that to me!"

"oh I just did, you shall learn what reckless behavior leads to!"

And with that, the discussion was over. Benedict tried to defend me and Colin even said it was all his idea but Anthony would not have it and he was the one who decided, he had the strings in his hand. And so here I am, sitting on my bed, staring at the darkness of the night. They left an hour ago, and there is nothing I can do, walking would take hours and no one is lending me a carriage. Or at least, that's what I thought...

I hear a knock on my door,

"miss, it is Rose, a carriage has arrived for you" I get up and open the door,

"what do you mean? Anthony has forbidden me to get a carriage from the house"

"it is not from the house miss"

"then who is it from?"

"I do not know, but it has been instructed to pick you up and bring you to the ball," she says seriously, has Anthony changed his mind? I very much doubt it. I walk outside and I see the golden carriage, it is massive, it is wonderful and it is.. royal. Louis sent this carriage? I do not get the chance to ask any further questions and I step into the carriage quickly. I thank Rose for all she has done, believing this may be my last night alive, and then we head to the ball.

It takes us half an hour and it is complete torture, I suddenly regret every decision I have ever made in my entire life, and several times I feel the urge to turn around and go back to Bridgerton's house. I never did, and we arrived. I step out of the carriage and for the first time I do not need to worry about my dress getting stuck somewhere, I do not even need a hand to hold in case I fall down.

I take a deep breath and walk inside, I get odd faces from the guards, although they let me through when I tell them my name. I take the stairs upwards and realize my entry will be far more intense than I had imagined. Stairs in the middle, leading to the ballroom, where all guests are already waiting, because I am late.

I am still standing in the shadows, no one can see me yet. Now I can still turn around and run away, now I can still get myself some different clothes and pretend to be gracious and pretty. But I do not. I refuse to be a coward. And with that, I take a few big and confident steps forward, revealing myself and my choice of clothes to nearly the entire ton...

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NOTE: Sorry for the delay, I did not have any time to write the last two days but I hope you still like this chapter. oh and I will say this right now, just in case you feel the need to mentally prepare yourself for it, the next chapter may be the last...