fear love² | rafe cameron

four

»But I love you so much more than just to the moon and back.« -Rafe Cameron

I cleared everything off the floor into the box and by chance found a disinfectant spray which I put on the vanity and cleared everything into the cabinet and got up.

Before leaving the bathroom, I cooled my face with some water, dried it with one of the small towels, and unlocked the door, where JJ was standing opposite the door, leaning against the wall, chewing on a toothpick.

"You okay?" he asked with raised eyebrows, as if he knew my coming answer was a lie.
"Yeah. Just doing absolutely wonderful" I grinned cockily and brushed my hair behind my ear and walked past him.

"What were you doing in the bathroom for so long?" JJ continued to question me as we ran down the porch steps and got closer to the bonfire.
"I was looking for band-aids for Sarah's cut, not anymore" I stopped and showed him the box of band-aids and a pair of bandage scissors.

I ran to Sarah and the others and gave John B the box and the scissors so he could doctor Sarah's wound.
"Finally," he said with relief.
"Maybe you should check the door lock, it's stuck a bit" I lied to justify my absence.

"Ouch" Sarah shrugged as John B sprayed the disinfectant on the wound.

I sat back down in my seat and started poking my fork through the casserole and skewering the vegetables.
"This is so good" I said with my mouth full, praising Kie and Sarah.

"I'm almost starving" I continued to say, chewing on the vegetables and swallowing it all down with a big gulp of beer.

The pills were working.

I realized the green and yellow capsule was working because I no longer felt the urge to cry for it. My leg was no longer shaking with nervousness, and for the first time I felt like eating something again.

It was as if a switch had flipped inside me and I could turn off all the negativity.
"What?" I asked energetically, looking at all my friends who said nothing and just stayed silent, continuing to stare at me.

"Come on, that food is going to get cold otherwise" I said with a grin and continued to eat.
I knew exactly what my friends were thinking about me, as if I could look into their heads.

But just a moment later, a switch flipped in the group and it suddenly seemed like before. We were all sitting around the campfire on wooden benches, eating while music played in the background, and with every moment and every sip of alcohol, the mood got better.

Some time passed and Kie and Pope were dancing together to the music, Sarah was in the arms of her boyfriend John B and JJ was somewhere on the dock.
"I'm going to look for JJ" I said and stood with the blanket around my legs and my now third beer in hand.

The music turned down and you could slowly hear the crickets in the tall grasses.
"Hey, are you still alive?" I tapped my foot against him and JJ jerked up.
"No" he grumbled and leaned his head against his arms resting on one of the beams.

I sat down with him and let my legs dangle over the water. It was quiet for a brief moment and neither of us talked. The moon shone on the marsh, the cool wind blew lightly through my hair, and beyond the marsh, out to sea, you could see the lighthouse.