Pandemic Panic

Chapter One - Epic Pandemic Party

Please note that all of these diseases are real and should be taken seriously as they have taken the lives of many.

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Our story begins on a warm quarantine afternoon. Corona was getting bored, the urge of traveling was getting to him, but he didn't have a passport, so he decided to host a frat party. Corona had made many friends on his journey throughout the world, and decided to invite them all to his frat, KAPPA KAPPA PANDEMIC. Ebola brought the beer, Swine Flu brought the vodka, and Influenza made the invitations. Corona rushed downstairs in a hurry where the group was in the kitchen preparing the booze, "where is AIDS? He was supposed to be here two hours ago to help me set up the kegs outside."

"I think he was on someone's balls I don't know," replied Ebola.

"I hope they didn't wash their hands, but that's all that's being advertised right now besides social distancing.

"Even with social distancing, I can't find Waldo." Smallpox said, sighing. He was still only on the first page of his Where's Waldo? book. 

"I really need something to get my mind off of this."

"Well come on Smalls, just open your dang eyes, then maybe you'd be able to find him. Now, let's do our best to get this party together, even though it'll only be 10 people. At least we can't get shut down by the cops right?"

"Right," Smalls said. "We have to go through with it even with inconveniences like these. Do you know if Salmonella is gonna stop by?"

"I think he is, he's supposed to also be bringing his girlfriend Chlamydia," answered Ebola.

"Oh good," Smalls replied. "Make sure CDC doesn't come home tonight. Don't want our plans to be spoiled."

"Ya dude, don't wanna get kicked out of the frat," said Corona.

Ebola nodded in agreement, "I think if CDC does come home, we need to act like we're self quarantining." 

"But dude, we are the reason people quarantine, we'd just be ruining the whole point! We gotta love who we are and spread that love, now come on let's go finish getting ready."

"Okay," said Ebola, "who's gonna keep CDC out of the house tho?"

"I'll do it," said Salmonella." 

"But Sal, you know how dangerous it is for you to be out in the heat, you could die!" exclaimed AIDS.

"I'll take on for the team, it's my time to go anyway dude." Sal sighed, looking over at Chlamydia sadly.

They all gave Sal a group hug and told him how much they loved him before he ran off to guard. It was now time to party. AIDS ran into the kitchen with a party horn thingy and screamed, "TIME TO PARTY BITCHES!" Confetti went everywhere.

The group partied for a few hours until they heard a scream from outside. "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS SAL!" screamed AIDS.

Sal rolled around on the ground in pain, Chlamydia started sobbing. Sal had sadly been shot and didn't have that much left to live. I guess you could say it was his Corona time to go. He really could've used some Aid, but didn't receive as they were all too slow to spread to him. The gang turned around to see Sal's ex-girlfriend, E Coli, holding a gun. Must've been why everyone was stocking up on toilet paper. This party had taken a turn for the worst.

To be completely honest, no one was shocked E Coli showed up. She was always down for bangers and ever since the break up she wasn't invited to any anymore, as Sal was the VP of the Frat. E Coli looked at everyone and smiled, "well now we fit the 10 people limit, let's drink some beer now, shall we?" 

"Aw hell nah," said Chlamydia as she wiped the streaks of mascara on her cheeks. "You're not INVITED!" she screamed as she pulled out a baseball bat and hit E Coli until she fell on the ground. "You know what they say, a life for a life."

Blood gushed from E Coli's lip, she laughed. "Well you know who was? CDC!" Everyone's jaws dropped and E Coli kicked Chlamydia in the face.

At that moment E Coli was strangled and thrown onto the ground, "No one likes a snitch," said CDC as he threw her. The whole group was stunned, they couldn't believe it, CDC really just did that. "What? Don't look so shocked. Now, come on and help me get rid of these bodies."

Corona grabbed E Coli and flung her across his shoulder, her blood dripping on his clothes. Of course they had to have a classic late night bonfire, it was a party after all. After they disposed of E Coli it was time to dispense of Sal. What would be the best way to do it? There were truly so many options. "Well, since no one ever wants to, we could eat him," says AIDS.

Chlamydia wished for a better burial for the love of her life, but there were really no options. And so the group decided to dig in before the body started its decomposition process. Chlamydia was in tears the whole time, the rest of the group was mournful as they did it and a bit disgusted, and AIDS was fully enjoying this experience. "Hey, I think we all deserve a break after everything that's happened," Corona started to say, "travel the world and get our mind off things."

Everyone nodded in agreement but AIDS, well, AIDS was still chowing down on some arm. "Can I bring it with me," he asked whilst chewing. "FINEEEEE," groaned the group and they decided to start their world tour.

     Corona bought a yacht, naming it the S. S. Pandemic. Due to being in the ocean, they were able to get away with having more than 10 people. This would be the experience of a lifetime.

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Hope you enjoy the story :)