This is War (Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x reader)

Chapter seventeen

The next few hours passed fairly quickly. Bucky, being his overly protective and concerned self, wanted to know everything that had happened over the past two years. You didn't really mind filling him in on the details. Not much had happened, it was mostly trying to hide from the government while also taking down any former Hydra base you came across.

"... Then we found the base near Madripoor and... well, you know what happened there," you stared hard at the floor, trying to push the memories from your mind.

"Y/n, look at me," Bucky said gently, leaning down so he could see your face. You glanced sideways at him. "It wasn't your fault, sweetheart. You know that."

"Yeah, I know," you muttered. The guilt that had been eating away at you yesterday had faded somewhat. "It's not that..."

"Then what is it?"

You sat up a little straighter. "They... they told me why Karpov never had me killed."

You were sure you weren't imagining the way that Bucky tensed slightly. Did he already know? Had he known this whole time?

"They said that the only reason I'm still alive is because Karpov wanted us to..." You trailed off. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Bucky sighed. "Yes. I knew."

Your eyes flicked between his for a moment. "But you never acted on it?"

He clasped his hands together in front of him, resting his elbows on his knees. It was now him who stared hard at the floor. "I could never do that to you. I would murder everyone else on the planet if I had to, but I would never, never hurt you. Not in any way. Ever."

You let out a breath you hadn't realized you were holding. "Thank you," you said softly, placing your hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at you. "What for?"

"Protecting me, even when it meant defying orders," you answered. "I didn't realize I was worth that much to you."

Bucky sat up straighter, reaching out almost tentatively to touch your cheek. "You always were."

You leaned into his touch, placing your hand over his, and gave a small smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," he pressed a kiss to your forehead, then your other cheek, lingering slightly with his lips still pressed to your skin. "I love you," he said again, as though trying to implant the phrase deep in your memory. "More than anything else."

You turned your head and kissed him, raising your hands to cup his cheeks. The stubble dotting his jaw scratched your palms, but you didn't mind. When you finally pulled back, brushing a few stray strands of hair behind his ears, you smiled softly. "I know. And I feel the same way for you."

Bucky just stared at your face for a moment, his thumb tracing your cheekbone idly. "Y/n, can I ask you something?"

"Anything," you leaned into his touch, raising your hand to slip your fingers between his, holding his hand in place.

"You know how, on the plane, at Siberia, before everything... went wrong," he seemed to be struggling to work out exactly what he was trying to say, so you nodded to encourage him. "I asked you if- if we could make our relationship more... official?"

You nodded again, your eyes searching his.

"And you said that if we survived, you'd tell me?"

"Yeah," you said. In truth, you knew what you'd say from the beginning, but at the same time, you weren't exactly sure what he was getting at. You'd long ago started referring to him as your romantic partner in your head and out loud whenever there was a chance. There was really only one logical step after that, but you weren't sure whether that was what he was getting at or not.