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four

Cinizia knew everyone thought of her as a goddess, but they were missing out on the most important and essential part. She was an accursed goddess, the goddess who could never be with the one she loved. She had the power to make anyone fall in love with her but she could never stay with them. The second they fell in love with her, she was bound to leave them with a splintered heart and ruptured veins. Her curse was a result of rejecting the advances of the King of Gods, for blatantly insulting his power and authority. After all, your divinity is reduced to ash when you're up against the King of Gods－in front of him she was just dust with gold lined divinity. He cursed her knowing that eventually the whole of mankind would become aware of her ruthlessness and merciless ways; and eventually condemn and shun her. She had been scorned by mankind since the beginning of time, she had spent centuries on the same planet; roaming from one town to the next in hope of finding a way to break her curse. The world had gradually reduced her to a myth, only some believed that she was a real entity －the rest considered her some sort fable, someone who wasn't even real. She preferred the scorns and the acidic hatred of the people than being forgotten altogether. After all, the greatest punishment a god can get is losing the belief of people, because at the end of the day mortals were the one who revered her despite hating her. With their prayers forever vanished, she was reduced to nothing but dust, a phantasm of a once beautiful but cruel goddess.

One of the main reasons of why she had chosen to come to Ilvermonia was because the people believed that she was the same goddess which they had learnt about through their ancestors. They still had a minuscule amount of belief that she really was a goddess. That's why she had chosen to stay, because even an ounce of faith was an ocean of glittering hope to her after being forgotten altogether. At the end of the day, no matter how much she hated the divinity in her steel veins － she was a god and nothing could ever change that cruel and twisted fact. Despite hating her godhood, she revered in the fear of mortals; she wanted them to fear her, to hate her－anything was better than being forgotten.

Cinizia could feel it in her bones that her time in Ilvermonia would come to an end soon because Sayra had completely fallen in love with her. She never wanted it to be that way, she wanted to stay away from her at all costs. But she was selfish in not being able to stay away from her. It felt good to be loved after being hated on for centuries. After the rumours of her cruelty spread for breaking men and women's hearts across continents, the whole world had condemned and ostracized her. As time passed and humanity grew, they gradually began to forget about her; after all she was no one worth remembering compared to the other Gods. But after eons, someone had finally looked at her, seen her and loved her despite all the cracked divinity that marred her eternal pulchritude. It felt warm and mellow to be loved by someone, her skin bloomed with watermelon roses and sugared corals. Being loved was a such a beautiful thing, and she was buzzing with euphoria that someone had finally, finally loved her.

Cinizia could feel her heart crushing with the venom that coursed through her veins, as she slowly made her way to Sayra who looked as radiant as ever with her freshly ground coffee skin and honeyed smile. She was leaning against the dilapidated white picket fence of the beach, the sea lavenders fluttering with the wind. At that moment she wanted time to stop forever, so that she could admire her till eternities flew and crumbled. She knew she would never get tired of seeing her, she was everything that she wanted to be but could never be－ beautiful, not only in her looks but in the way she was always herself. She realised she never wanted to let go of Sayra, but she knew that no matter how much she hated her twisted and corrupted fate, she would have to leave her eventually.

"Hey," Sayra began with a smile that reached her eyes as she made her way swiftly towards Cinizia.

Cinizia couldn't bear to look at her and let her steel gray eyes wander to her ringed fingers. She knew if she looked into her midnight sky eyes she would crumble. But she had to be strong; she was a goddess after all, such weaknesses and timidity were heinous for deities. Mustering all her courage she finally looked at her and gave her a forced smirk.

"You seem uneasy today," Sayra said as she caressed her cheek softly. Cinizia closed her eyes and let herself slowly melt into her warmth and boundless candied love for her.

"Sayra," she began not knowing where to even start. "I know this sounds cliche, like an overplayed summer song; but I want you to know that you are the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to a person like me who had her fate twisted and warped with poison since the beginning of time. I don't have enough time to explain everything to you but one day I'll find a way to come back to you somehow. I know it would be impossible but I'll find a way," she said as her voice became slightly hysterical and tears threatened to spill from her gray storm cloud eyes.

"Why are you suddenly behaving like this?" Sayra spoke in a tone laced with worry, she could feel something catastrophic was about to erupt.

Cinizia could make out the fresh panic and worry in her dulcet voice and silently cursed herself for what was about to happen. She simply shook her head instead of replying to her question.

"Cinizia tell me what's happening?" Sayra spoke up again but in a tone much more hysterical than her previous one. Her hands began to tremble as she frantically touched her dark tresses and face. Cinizia took her hands and steadied them, playing one on her cheek and the other on between her silken locks. She knew what she was about to do was incredibly selfish and tantalizingly cruel, but she could not help herself. She pressed her lips against her, closing her eyes and letting her tears stream down her face freely. Sayra kissed her back with equal fierceness; her fingers running astray between her strawberry scented locks, the taste of cherries on her tongue. It didn't take her long to figure out Cinizia was crying, as the saline taste intermingled with the cherry flavour on her tongue. She pulled back immediately, her midnight sky eyes frantically analysing her tear streaked face and her red rimmed gray eyes.

"Please," she whispered hoarsely, as she tried to wipe away her tears with the back of her hands. It didn't take long for Sayra to start crying but she understood what she wanted and drew her lips back to her cherry ones. Sayra could taste ruination on her lips as she let herself loose in her sempiternal magnificence.

Cinizia broke away the kiss as she hastily wiped her tears away and gave her a forlorn smile. In her last moments with her she didn't want her to remember her like this, she wanted her to remember her as the Cinizia she had always been.

"Sayra," she began as she took her hand in hers and placed it on her manic heart. "One day when you finally find your home, I'll try to come back to you. Just please never forget me, always remember me as the girl you first fell in love with, not this mess of a person I am right now," she spoke softly in her butter like voice.

Sayra frantically nodded as tears continued to stream down her bronze skin. "Cinizia," she began as she choked back on her tears. "I don't know what's happening but this feels like the end. But before its too late I just want you to know, I love you. I don't know what those words precisely mean, but with you those words suddenly gain meaning and substance," she spoke in a cracked voice as she tried to compose herself.

Cinizia could feel the tears welling up again and nodded as she tried to blink them back. "I know my love, I know," she whispered as her voice got distorted with tears. Sayra could feel her heart underneath her hands, thrashing and beating like it wanted to escape from her divine body. Cinizia slowly let go of Sayra's hands as she placed a final kiss on her tear soaked lips.

"I love you, even though that's something I was never capable of," she said as she gave her a final smile that reached her steel gray eyes. "Goodbye my love," she said with a smirk as tears streamed down her face. She turned around towards the roaring ocean with its colossal turquoise and teal waves and slowly faded into the water, till she was reduced to the volatile ocean mist.

Sayra stared at the turquoise and teal waters colliding against the craggy obsidian rocks, creating a spray of salt and water in the air. She wondered whether she should have just listened to everyone around her and stayed away from Cinizia, but she knew she would forever be grateful for the limited time she had spent with Cinizia. She watched as the tides carried a part of her heart away with them while they rustled and danced in the cerulean waters. She closed as her eyes as the cool evening zephyr whipped through her locks waiting for the day when she disintegrated and joined the malignant teal waters so that she could finally reunite with Cinizia; because after all even Cinizia couldn't stay away from the roaring ocean which carried both beauty and death with the utmost grace and poise.