Petals from a wallflower

Chapter Nine

We got to my house and headed inside. My mom was on the couch watching tv.

"Hey, mom." I gave gave a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, who is your friend?" She asked with a suspicious tone.

"This is Lauren, we go to school together" I said. And we left.

"So can I get you anything?" I alsed when we reached my room

"No, I'm ok" she said barely above a whisper. I sat down on the couch and hopped on the phone. I didn't know what to say to her.

"You wanna know something? I can't think of one person who hasn't let me down or hurt me. Michael, my mom, even Raya."

I had no idea where this was coming from and I didn't know what to say. So I did what I did best. I listened. She obviously needed someone to vent to and I was going to be that person for her.

"And then there's you, Marley. You're so kind and honest, and you're so fucking weird but I love that about you. And I'm scared because I think I love you and I think I'm too late. Because I see you with Raya and you say you don't like her but it doesn't look like it and I'm just so tired of being lied to."

"I can't fucking believe you right now" I said barely above a whisper. "You think I'm lying to you? I don't like Raya. Not like that anyways. Yes I had sex with her. Once, Lauren, once. And maybe it was just to get back to at you but I have never lied to you.  Not once. When I said that I wouldn't intentionally hurt you or lie, I meant that." I said looking into her eyes.

"You said, that everyone you've ever known has cheated and lied to you, right? Well I'm here and I will never hurt you. I promise"

"That's the thing" she said shaking her head. "I can't promise you anything, okay? I always have everything figured out, and I always know what I want. But when it comes to you, I have know fucking idea."

"Lauren, let me tell you something about myself. I'm the most indecisive person you'll every meet. I change my mind everyday. It's like fucking clock work. I don't know what I'm doing after high school. Well im going to college but I don't know what the hell I'm doing with my life. I can't even so much as decide what the hell I want for dinner. I'm like a stick in the river. I go with the flow of the current. I take life as it comes. And the only thing I'm certain about is my feelings for you. I don't know what'll happen to us. But I'm willing to find out. Aren't you?"

"It's not that simple" she said. "I don't want to hurt you"

"You've already hurt me" I said a little more cold than I expected. "And I'm giving you another chance. This is it. I'm all in" I said walking towards her.

Were maybe an inch apart from each other. So close I could smell the faint sent of body wash on her skin. "I want you" and with that I placed my lips upon hers. She resisted at first and I paused. "I won't hurt you." I whispered. I kissed her again. And she kissed back. It was better than the first time. It was more than just out lips doing a dance together. It was acceptance. It was fear. But more importantly, it was love.

I led her to my bed, still kissing her. She put her hands around my neck, leaning into me. I had my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. I layed her gently on my bed before collapsing on top of her. I kissed my way down her neck, my hands roaming underneath her shirt. She let out a barely audible moan and that did something to me. I did not want her like this. Suddenly I stopped.

"Why'd you stop?" She asked, propping herself up on her elbows underneath me. I rolled from on top of her and sat up.

"Because you're drunk and you're hurting. And I feel like I'm taking advantage of you" I said shyly

"But I want to, don't you?" She asked

"Yea, but like I said, you're drunk, I'm not. It wouldn't be right."

"Surly this can't be your first time in bed with an intoxicated girl" she edged.

"No, but I had also been intoxicated. It's different. And besides I want our first time to be special." I said looking at her. "And sober" I added. "I want to be sure you really do want to do this. You're not like all the others I've been with. I actually have feelings for you and we only get one "first time" and I wanna do it right."

"You're so damn sweet" was all she said before placing a kiss lightly upon my lips. "We can wait". I layed flat on my back and she snuggled right in the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arm around her. We layed there silent for a while and I thought she'd falling asleep.

"And thanks for not taking advantage of me. Even though I wanted to do it" she said sleepy
"You're still a pussy for that though" she said with a giggle.

"Lauren, you're drunk, go to sleep" I laughed. A few minutes later I could hear her light snores. I could feel her heart beating on mines as her body rose and fell and man did my heart flutter. Her falling asleep in my arms was way better than some hook up. I could die right this second and be happy with that. Cause the love of my life is right here. And I'm looking at her and she is so beautiful. No moment in all of my seventeen years could compare to this.