The Giving Potato

The field II

I had awoken from my sleep and I was prepared for the challenge of growing. All plants and vegetables must grow in order to get picked first in order to complete our destiny. Some of us grow faster than others, but the strange thing that I've always wondered is that humans don't have to try to grow. Humans grow on their own by eating us: humans, animals, and other creatures don't need to try to grow they just do. I never understood how this worked. Sure some potatoes have genes similar to humans that give us an advantage in order to grow faster but we have to grow. I try to grow faster than the rest but I'm not sure if I will accomplish this goal. Mom says that all potatoes are different and that I shouldn't worry about the others; but, a little competition never hurt anyone. In fact I believe that competition was the driving force of nature that led us to survival. This natural urge can't only be found in potatoes...can it? I've always believed that all living creatures competed but I may be wrong. I always assumed that humans and potatoes have a lot more in common than we initially thought. I've heard that we possibly share 50% of dna with humans. Let that sink in. Humans are always trying to separate themselves from other animals and I believe that's why they're unique. For example certain species of birds must do something that sets them apart to attract a mate. I've heard some birds try to sing louder to prove they're better. Some birds fight one another. Other birds dance for the female. I've heard of humans doing these same (to a potato) peculiar behaviors. For example, human men will dance and wiggle their bodies in front of females in order to attempt to woo them. Some human males are less artistic and attempt to obtain women with a more brute force type philosophy. I heard once that these two men almost killed each other over one lady! Just like Lions! The interestingness of humans continues to amaze me. Perhaps The Creator made humans interesting for a reason. An unknown reason, but a reason, nevertheless.
In the giant field of potatoes there were a few men standing tall of about six feet of height. Their arms contained probably around 100% muscle and 0% fat. They had overalls that covered the important parts such as legs and stomach, but they did not wear anything under the overalls. Perhaps the hot summer day was too much so they tried to cool off. The men all had hats-- probably to protect themselves from the gamma rays of the sun (I don't know I'm not human). The men were; in my opinion, destined for paradise when they died. I didn't know much about them, but they had made life easier for us. Three to four times a day the men would approach each potato and give us water to help us grow. It was one of the greatest feelings a potato can feel. Not as good as being eaten of course, but still, a good feeling. After watering us the men would fondle our moist bodies. The feeling was amazing; though, I'm not sure why they did it. It may be they're checking our size out. To be honest I'm not sure because I thought humans looked with their eyes.
Occasionally an insect would get on me in an attempt to eat me but they would immediately run away as they touched my skin. This worried me and thoughts ran through my head. How could any human like me if bugs don't even like me? Will I ever be eaten?
I was unsure. Until one day I heard a glimpse of real human interaction. There were two men. To me, both looked the same. They had dark blue overalls, chiseled muscles and skin... well like a potato; it was a some kind of dull brown. Possibly the gamma rays of the sun cause humans to get dark. I'm still unsure. So big muscle guy says to the other big muscular guy.
"Did you spray the potatoes yet?"
Then big muscular guy number two replies "Not yet, listen what does spraying 'em with that crap do anyhow?"
Guy number one said "I reckon it keeps the bugs off 'em. Just go spray 'em soon as ya get da chance"
Guy number two replies "Ya will do boss"
I wanted to get sprayed again. I had to wait though, and I was growing impatient. One minute waiting turned to two, then two to six, then six to eight, then eight to an hour. Finally guy number one came by to spray me with something that made sure insects didn't get on me. He seemed mad so I'm guessing guy number two didn't find time to spray me.
He mumbled a few curse words under his breath and then fondled my body. He moved me up, down, left, right, then back down again.
"Any bruises" he said, talking to himself I'm assuming. I was hoping he wasn't talking to me. That would be odd, but knowing humans they can be much weirder. He then pulled a spray bottle hidden in his back pocket and sprayed me with it. He sprayed it twice, but on the third time he added "One more for good luck" right before he sprayed me. He then repeated the process for all the other potatoes in the field.
As night was approaching the sky was losing its bright white clouds and luscious sun. The sun was coming down, the darkness was beginning to grow stronger and the men had left.
I guess it's time for sleep.