6 Feet Below The Ground

Wishing

18 years ago I knew this would happen. This exact scenario of us, answering his questions. I just never thought it would last 18 years, I never thought that I'll lost my memories. This was never in my plan.

"What?" I know him, those expression- the constant blinking, it's frustrating and he's confused.

"How-- you said you had miscarriage." His anger is taking over his emotions, I know him well.

"Yes, we lost her." This time I couldn't stop my self from tearing up, she could've been a daddy's girl. I smiled at the thought.

"From the start Doc Han said she's weak- she had weak a heart." I remembered how I thought I lost everything, I lost the sense of life.

"When I arrived in Minessotta.. I was mourning, I cried, I was so stressed, I bled. At first I thought it just my period but I suddenly felt so nauseous and felt like I need to vomit." I'm pretty sure I looked like an idiot right now, crying while smiling? What kind person would think of someone crying and smiling is normal?

"I thought I had a cancer, or some sort of illness. Then Doc Anderson said the boys are healthy and is strongly gripping inside me." I laughed.

"I said-

"It must be a mistake Doc, I-I had miscarriage before I left my country." I said and hold my purse tightly.

"No, I'm sure the boys is hanging there like a warrior." The doctor laughed and showed me my ultrasound.

"You see his head and body?" She pointed-- shit... That's a baby.

"I think they like hide and seek Mrs." I couldn't help myself but to cry, this feels like a miracle.

"I think the baby you lost protected both of them and she hid them well."

"Both of them were behind her?" It's confusing me too so I just nod.

"The doctor explained that they were so little and under developed, but when Adillane died they started growing normal."

"Adillane, it's... a beautiful name." I know he's hurting, but his face changed when I said her name, our angel.

"I know... you said you wanted a daughter named Adillane."

I called my doctor in morocco to let her know about what happened.

She said my brain is stressed and that I should thank God that I only fainted in the middle of our conversation and didn't die. It was really strong of me to answer his question whilst I was just remembering all those memories back. It made me feel stronger but still I need to talk to my kids, I need a fresh start. I think I'll be better if I'm with them. All this years suffering, it must have been so hard for them to keep my secrets.

Taehyung left the hospital hours ago, he said he'll be back. I'm not hoping he would really go back here, after of what I did to him. I didn't know that all of my memories will go back in just a snap, I've always thought that it would be pieces by pieces like an adventure.

I pick up my phone from the side table and called them. Their voice is simply enough to make me happy. Their phones were ringing but no one's accepting my call. I'm getting nervous, what if they got on an accident?

"Mom?" I turned my head to the door and saw both of them panting- How did they know?

"How-" I'm not yet finish at talking when they ran and hugs me. I smiled.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Jiyeon ask with annoyance, I know him too well.

"It's supposed to be a surprise." I said ang kissed the top of their head. The last time we did this was when they're going here in South Korea to be trained for a year. I'm not really fond of them leaving but they insisted.

"Tsk. You scared us ma." Soohyung said. I saw both of their shoulders shaking, are they crying? aww.

"Why are you guys crying?!" I said laughing but also tearing up.

"I'm fine, you're still my babies." I said and caressed their back. Two young adults crying in my bed but in m eyes it's still my 5 year old babies who cried because their ice creams are already finished.

"Hell- Oh." I raised my head and saw Taehyung standing in front of the door.

"Fruits.. for you." He said and awkwardly puts the Fruit Basket in the table at the end of my bed. Jiyeon and Soohyung is panicking, wiping their tears and runs to the bathroom. Jiyeon almost slipped-

"Careful!" I said, both of them nods and enters the bathroom. I laughed, boys will be boys.

"Did you tell them?" I asked, he nods and scratch the back of his neck.

"You shouldn't have." I said.

"Yeah." He said irritated, how can he be so grumpy.

"Do they know?" He asked after long silence. Where's the two? What are they doing to take so long.

"Not yet." I said.

"What information do you guys want us to know?" Jiyeon suddenly comes out of the bathroom.

"Fuck. Jiyeon I told you we should come out later. Tsk." I heard Soohyung said.

"I can't hear them clearly inside." Jiyeon said. I shook my head and giggled.

"Just come out, I want to say something." I said, both of them comes out of the bathroom and sat down at the couch together with Taehyung.

"Uhm... so."

"I know you guys have known Mr. Kim as your manager, but I want you guys to know that.." I sighed.

"He's also your father."