KULEMIWRITES| Yakuza Headcanons & Scenarios

Accidentally Triggering You

Their fingers dug into your hips, clenching in an effort to secure their grip on you. It wasn't firm enough to bruise or break skin but there was still a burning sensation spreading over you, making you painfully aware of the fact you were being touched- a far cry from the gentle warmth you were used to.

It left you with a sentiment that was... odd, giving you the impression that your skin suddenly didn't fit anymore- like you needed to shed it.

Your discomfort was reminiscent of those moments when you become aware of your tongue and you become convinced that your tongue is far too big for your mouth. Laying flat and wide between your teeth, fighting to force its way past your lips so that then, it may become a perfect fit.

Their chuckle, the one you found so endearing mere seconds ago, now registered as maniacal as it rang in your ears. Your mouth twitched, fighting against the smile that had frozen there, feeling unnatural.

They leaned in to you and you braced yourself, attempting to make yourself heavier, immovable- then you felt the terror of realizing that your defensive action was not enough to keep them from their accomplishing goal of flipping you to the opposite side of the bed.

Why won't you stop? What are you trying to do to me? Why you? Please, not you too! You thought.

You had never been afraid of them as you are now, and you silently prayed that they would see the terror in your eyes and stop. And yet, the frozen smile and the strangled laugh that escaped you contradicted your very thoughts. Were you attempting to not show weakness or were you still enjoying yourself, lightheartedly wrestling with them?

When they flipped you, you quickly rolled on your side, grinding down on your elbows, attempting to secure your defensive stance once again. It was all you could do, really.

As they reached for you again, arms wide, smile warped, your heart pounded so viciously that your pulse throbbed in your ears. The face that always made you smile, the eyes that made you feel loved became vague... Blurred.

You didn't know who you were looking at anymore and that realization made your eyes burn with tears but you blinked them away, not wanting to show weakness.

All you wanted to think of at that moment was escape. Protecting yourself before it was too late.

The second they went in for the bear hug, you rolled out of bed and back yourself into the wall, not taking their eyes off them. The frozen smile finally began to melt and you could almost feel your eyes glaze over as relief washed over you before you began to map out your escape from the room in your head.

They scooted to the edge of the bed with a loving smile and their arms widened, welcoming you into the embrace you escaped from and you shook your head. They tilted their head in confusion, likely wondering why you would reject their affection.

They told you that they were winded from the rough housing and simply wanted to hug you but if you didn't want the hug, they were okay with that.

You would see the wheels in their head turning as they lowered their arms.

There was something about the look in their face that forced you to realize what had just happened to you. Though you were enthusiastically participating in the wrestling, there was something about that brief moment of defenselessness that took you back to a moment when you truly were defenseless and although you knew they would never, ever cause you that type of harm, in that triggered moment, you didn't see them.

You saw your attacker.

Fighting against your defensive state, you forced your feet to shuffle in their direction and they reluctantly took you into their arms. You could tell from the looseness of the embrace, they were trying not to contribute any further to what it was that you were feeling but also not wanting to reject your attempt at affection.