Cold Winds

4

I've been back to the doctor's around three times now at this point. It's been a few weeks since the first time I went, I've been counting the days so that I know when I'm another week through this hell. I should be around eleven weeks now if I've been counting correctly. I can definitely notice now that I'm pregnant from the bump, it's gotten bigger than I thought it would in four weeks. I stopped going to school around a week ago and signed up to do my courses online, using the excuse that I have a terrible illness that we're trying our best to cure so I can get out of bed and back to school. It's a terrible thing to tell people but I really don't want the public school system to know about this.

I can't fit into my own clothing anymore, so Mathias has been lending me a lot of his shirts. It's mostly shirts I'm interested in, since they're baggy enough to cover up my belly while I'm standing up, and I can always wear baggy pajama pants. But I've realised I've been a bit lonely as of late, and made a big decision. I'm going to invite all of my friends over, and tell them about this. I've already told Lukas what I'm doing, and I've gotten "dressed". One of Mathias's heavy metal shirts, some Danish band I'm not too sure about. And obviously a pair of flannel pajama pants. I'm quite comfortable. But for now, I've got freshly washed sheets and blankets, so the temptation to take a nap is too hard, and I can't help but doze off bit by bit as I wait.

I'm woken up by a knock on the door, "Emil your friends are here." Lukas says through the door. I tell him to come in and he opens the door, letting the three of them inside. "Just holler if you need anything Emil, I'll be downstairs." Lukas shuts the door, and Leon starts to snicker.

"Geez, you look terrible! How sick are you?!" Leon asks, he's obviously amused. Marco gives his shoulder a small punch, looking back at me. If he didn't think it was rude, he would agree.

I sigh and close my eyes again, cuddling my head into my pillow. "Yeah, I know.. I'm just tired.." I tell them, then look back at them. "I guess by now you probably know I'm doing my classes online." They nod yes. "And you know it's because I'm sick and I can't come to class in person for a bit. That's not entirely the case." They all give me confused looks, and I take a deep breath. "You have to promise me, you won't tell a soul what I'm about to tell you. If you do I will personally slit your throats." I try to be as menacing as I can, and I can see Marco and Leon lean back a bit away from me as they agree. Marie smiled and nods, probably amused by the other two's reactions.

This is it. I have to do this. I can't chicken out. I stand up out of bed and look at them. "Eleven weeks ago I got beat half to death on the side of the road on my daily walk to school. I thought that was all that happened. I was wrong. And that's led to why I'm not in person learning." I can see they're about done with my stalling, so I take one last deep breath and pull up my shirt. I'm a skinny kid, so the slightest amount of weight on me is noticeable from ten yards away. I can see their shocked expressions, and Marie even raises her hand up over her mouth. I put my shirt back down and walk over to my desk, picking up my most recent folder. "Yeah, THAT'S how I've felt this whole time. I'm sick, everything hurts, I'm getting headaches, and I'm starting to get bad acne." I hand the folder to Leon since he's on the end of the line, and he opens it. On the top is the ultrasound, underneath the usual hospital documents. I point at the ultrasound. "See that? That's the fucking parasite. It's already doing <em>this</em> to me and it's supposedly the size of a lime or something." They all look at the ultrasound and Marco is trying to find the words, his mouth is moving and his expression is constantly changing. "Don't congratulate me I'm not keeping it. And it's nothing to be happy about. It's just throwing up and being in unbearable pain half of the time. Plus gaining a shit ton of weight, which I haven't done in years until now!"

Leon looks over at me, concern written all over his face. "Is this like, gonna kill you? Because this isn't normal I've seen your dick-" I stop him there and shake my head.