Lovable

Chapter-5: Confession

Pha POV:

That day we stayed at the cottage, talked all night, had our fun, and drank a lot until we were tired.

One of the best peaceful days of my life. Maybe because I got to spend time with my love, beam. Most of the time it's all three of us Kit, me, and Beam. It was the first time just the two of us spent time like this.

It's been a month after that, I coxed beam to go to college from the next day itself, it was awkward but then after a while, everything was falling back to the place, I can see beam not being awkward when Ming comes by at Medical, I think Ming have some idea of what's going on, he is a smart kid but a very understanding one too. Fortunately, everything is fine now, Beam talks freely with N' Ming, and continues to tease Kit.

But I don't know if he moved on or not. But from that day at the beach, we both just hung out in one of our rooms, drinking and talking all night long. On those days kit will have his date with ming leaving his 2 friends to have their time together.

We sometimes drive around the city at midnight, go stargazing and or just talk all night. It's now a routine. For me this routine means a lot, I want to make him feel my love through these mini dates we have. I don't know if it reaches him or he still just considers me as a friend. I want to make him mine, I want to make him happy. I don't want to see the lonely beam ever again. But I am scared that one one day Beam will stop coming to our hangouts.

But I am a coward.

But anyway, tonight was one of our hang-out days, he was supposed to come to my place after class. Today Beam seemed a bit off, I couldn't pinpoint why.

But I understood why when I got his text in the evening

Beam <3: I won't come today.

Why? something happened?: Pha

Beam <3: no.. just need some time

I will talk to you later.

Beam. what do you mean?: Pha

Beam!! Answer me.

Beam?

He stopped replying to me. This is the day I feared would come, him not coming to me for our little time. This is the only time I had a little hope in my love, but now everything is breaking apart.

I just sat on my bed looking at my phone for a while. I didn't know what to do. I felt like crying. But I need to be strong. It's my fault anyway, it's me being a coward who caused this. I wouldn't be hurting this much right now if I had some confidence in myself.

I can't live like this, I should end this once and for all. I don't care if he rejects me, I will take his answer and move on. I just need some closure from myself, I am just making myself suffer at this point.

I took my car keys and left my room to go to Beam's.

Beam POV:

This is ridiculous. Why am I falling for my friends? This is unbelievable. When I liked kit it was slow and just me admiring cute stuff from afar. But Phana, it came like a tide and hit me is not leaving me. Way too strong, way too fast, it's overwhelming. I don't want to ruin our friendship over this.

Phana took care of me at my lowest and made me happy. Made me feel warm. Every weekend we hang out and talk all night, our routine gives a reason to smile. But it looks like it gave me feelings too. This is unbelievable, what's wrong with me?