How To Self Destruct

Two sides of the same coin

April 4, 2021

Dayton, Ohio

Night

Dyland

It was late at night as Cashay was asleep beside me as I laid up looking at the ceiling. How dare you. Alexis you slimy snaky bitch. Cashay rolls over as she always does and slaps me in the face not even knowing. Pisses me off. How can somebody so cute sleep so recklessly. She buries her face into my chest and for most people this is what they want right? Wrong. She broke up with me when we were kids. We were young and dumb but she hurt me... not as much as the other women in my life. But it isn't fair. She didn't even want to be with me now she does? I just don't understand. The roles have been reversed now I'm the one who doesn't want her.

But I can't tell her that.

She kills just as quick as I do.

She's the reason why I haven't killed anyone in the last two years since Anthony. I thought it was hot and sexy until she killed a girl over me. Like who does that! Fucking psychopath.

Fuck this.

Fuck this ring.

This house.

This forced family.

I slowly find myself moving out of the bed trying not to wake Cashay. One leg at a time as my feet touched the floor. I pack my bags using the flashlight off of my phone to see. Not even thinking I just keep packing things I need. Hell she was only 4 hours away. Maybe I could slip back before Cashay even noticed. No. Impossible. Who am I fooling?

What am I doing? I have a wife and a son.

But I'm not abandoning them. I just want to see what the hell is going on. For Ja'mon's sake.

I start to stand up after I packed two duffle bags as I reached down to grab them before getting smacked in the back of my head.

Morning

"Hey baby." Cashay says as my vision was blurry as I woke up to her hovering above me. "What the fuck Cashay!" I nearly yell at her before realizing she had tied me to the bed. "Seems like you were about to go somewhere... hm. Clothes. Wash cloths. Shoes??? Condoms!" She says as she empties out my duffle bags. "Who the condoms for Dyland? Because we don't use those." She asked nearly intimidating me as I was lost for words. I couldn't move as she had me tied up from my arms to my legs. "Dammit Shay!" I say under my breath as she grabs a knife off of the dresser. "I should cut off your Dick you dumb fuck. You really think I wouldn't notice you not sleeping for the past 2 days? All over that bitch!" She says angrily as I stared into her eyes. "If you gone kill me than let's not waste no time." I tell her as she looks at me surprised before taking the knife and sticking it in my arm.

"FUCK!" I groan loudly as she stares me dead in my eyes. "You made me this way Dyland. I told you what would fuckin happen!" She says as she takes the knife and cuts open my shirt before carving her name into my chest with the knife as I couldn't hold my eyes from watering in pain. I bite my tongue as I just sit there and endure it. Blood running down my stomach by the time she finally got to the Y in her name. "Your mine Dyland. Mine." She says before wiping my eyes as she started to cry too. "Why would you make me do this." She cries as I couldn't move not because the ropes but because I was in so much pain. "Mommy?" Noah says entering the room as Cashay quickly got up picking him up. "Daddy?" He says as I couldn't keep my eyes open as I passed out.

April 7, 2021

I was awoken by the feeling of cold water as I look around to see Cashay bathing me. The tub stained with my blood as I couldn't fight back. She looked so beautiful taking care of me. But she's the reason I'm in this predicament. "I love you." She tells me once she sees I woke up. "What... happened... to you?" I asked her wanting to know how did she become this new person. "You don't realize what you had until it's gone... if I never left you, you would've never met Kiara or Alexis. It's my fault you turned out the way you did." She says truly believing this as I don't say anything. I didn't know how to even respond to that.