How To Self Destruct

Leaving the boys

August 13, 2017

Night

The child glares at me as I look back at Jimbai and April. The two lifeless bodies on the blood stained carpet and couch just slowly decaying in the moment. It wouldn't be too long until the bodies started to stink as the little boy looks at me with Terror in his eyes. Kill him. My mind immediately jumps to murder as I approach the little boy as he backs away from me. It won't be that long until the police arrive Dyland, kill him. The voice in my head gets louder as i continue to walk towards the kid before he runs into his room shutting the door. "STOP!" He screams at me as my heart is pounding against my chest.

I try to open the door as the gun in my hand had one last bullet in it. This was destined to happen. He was little all he needed was one shot. "DON'T KILL ME!" The boy cries out louder as I barge into the room once I kicked open the door. I grab the boy by his wrist as I throw him down on the floor once he tried to run past me. "Don't kill him." A voice said to me as I turn around to see Kiara right there in front of me. "What the fuck?" I asked myself as she disappeared as quick as she appeared. "Fuck!" I started to run my hand through my hair as I pull on it as the little boy was on the floor staring up at me.

"I'm sorry Alexis." I said under my breath as I aimed the gun at the boy before pulling the trigger. Once he fell lifelessly on his back I ran out the back door not chancing the front. I continued to run as my feet pounded the concrete as my shoes had gotten wet from the puddles I stepped in. My phone ringing as I check it to see it was Alexis as I didn't bothered to pick up the phone. She would know something was wrong, I was panicking as tears fell from my face. "I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I kept telling myself as I ran to Ja'mon and Tracey as I got flashbacks from when I murdered Kiara.

"Your a monster Dyland!" Her voice spoke to me as I look left than right to see no one but dark alleys and apartment buildings. "Leave me alone!" I snapped at her as the voice was gone as I finally made my way to Ja'mon and Tracey. I knocked on the door hard banging it as the door opens up and I immediately punched a hole in the wall. "What!" Tracey jumped up as Ja'mon lets me in as I started screaming and cursing. "Did he get away?" Ja'mon asked me as I shook my head no. "There was a little boy... I had to kill him... he seen my face." I told them as Ja'mon took a deep breath and consoled me.

"Jimbai is dead right?" Tracey asked me as I nodded my head yes. "Well than you did what had to be done. If it was him he would've killed the kid too." Tracey said to us as he grabs a vodka bottle out the fridge. "I say we drink to this." Tracey said as Ja'mon shook his head at him. He continues to pour a shot in the glass and drinks it before turning on the news.

We watch the tv as a news reporter reports the three murders that I've committed. "Jimbai Blaire, April Pierce, and her 8 year old son Aiden Pierce have been shot and killed. The suspect is unknown, witnesses confirm the shooter to be an African American male." The woman spoke as the guys look at me as Tracey grinned at me and Ja'mon looked at me with concern. "Damn Ja'mon he more gangsta than me boy got like 9 bodies." Tracey said as I shake my head as I was feeling different. I promise I would never kill a child ever again lord. Forgive me.

"You idiot. You think God is going to forgive you?" Kiara said to me as I closed my eyes trying to shut her out but all I could see and hear was her taunting me. "Your a murderer! Fucking psycho!" She snapped at me as I screamed and grabbed the shot gun off of the table and immediately firing it at her. "Oh shit!" Ja'mon says to me as he tackles me on the ground as tears were falling down my face. "Die!" I snapped at her as she faded away as I blinked my eyes to realization that she wasn't even there.

"Bro! What the fuck is wrong with you!" Tracey said to me as Ja'mon helped me up holding me with my arms behind my back. "Nigga has lost his damn mind. I'm a whole felon and you shooting in this muthafucka!" Tracey walks up to me punching me in my face as Ja'mon lets me go as I fell down on my knees. I don't bother to fight back as tears kept falling from my face. "Yo boy gotta go G he ain't built for this life." Tracey said to me as Ja'mon forced me up to my feet and walked me down the stairs. We stood face to face as he was shaking his head at me. "You still my best friend g... I just need you to lay low for awhile okay? It's getting hot now. This shit deep. Just go be with your girl... stay with her... stay out the streets only come out when you have to... at least till the news stop talking about it." Ja'mon told me a I nodded my head at him before he gives me a man hug.

Ja'mon goes back up the stairs as I watched him entered the apartment. This was it. The end of our little trio. I make my way to Alexis's apartment as I call her phone but she doesn't answer. A cop car drives past me as my heart starts to pound against my chest. I had to get rid of my gun. Fuck. I walk towards a sewer drain and toss my gun in it watching it disappear in the darkness.

I won't ever kill again.

I was finally in Alexis's apartment as she was waiting for me on the couch. She stares at me cold almost shamefully as I locked the door behind me. She had the tv remote in her hand as she had tears staining her face. I walk past the mirror as I stopped looking at myself and I looked like shit.

Look at me. 

A mess.

Eyes red and almost swollen puff from crying.

"You did it didn't you." Alexis said to me as I turned my attention back to her. "How could you kill a child Dyland?" She asked me as she stood up and walked towards me as I try to hold my tears back. "I didn't want to... he seen my face." I told her as she takes a deep breath pacing back and forth before finally looking me in my eyes. "You got the guy you wanted to get right?" She asked me as I nod my head at her as she shakes her head, she was so confused.

And so was I.

"No more killing people... it's wrong." She tells me as I nod my head at her as she keeps pacing back and forth. She smelt good she must've gotten out the shower recently. She was wearing some booty shorts and a sports bra as my mind was easily starting to forget the events of tonight. "I'm serious Dyland... I want to believe your a good guy... but you can't kill any more people." She tells me as I raise my right hand up as she stops and looks at me. "I threw my gun away I promise you... I won't kill anyone else." I told her as she took a deep breath before walking up to me hesitantly.

"My sisters boyfriend... did you break his legs?" She asked me as I nodded my head at her. "And this was around the time we had met... that girl you was with after you left the hospital when you got stabbed... she went missing... did you do that?" She asked me as I stayed silent looking at the floor. "Wow." She says under her breath as she backs up from me. "How many people have you killed Dyland?" She asked me another question as I closed my eyes realizing I am a monster. I open my eyes as she looks at me with fear in hers.

"I've killed nine people Alexis." I told her as she takes a deep breath pacing back and forth again. "My boyfriend kills people." She murmured as I walked up to her as she backs up tripping on her rug as I catch her. She slips into my arms as I hold her up looking her in her eyes. "Hurting you would be the last thing I ever do." I told her as she stares into my eyes before I kissed her on her mouth. She immediately starts to calm down as she kissed me back. "Pinky Promise?" She asked me as she extended her little finger waiting for mine. I connected mine with hers before kissing her on the lips again. "I pinky promise." I told her as she plays with her fingers as I let her go.

A knock on the door catches us off guard as she looks up at me. "Expecting anyone?" I asked her as she shook her head no. "I was going to ask you that." She tells me as I go towards the door to answer it. Was it Ja'mon... Tracey? Had he came to apologize? Who was it... maybe the cops know it was me. I open the door to see who the person behind the door was.

And you got to be fucking kidding me.

It was Jericho.