On - A Sanders Sides Story

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On
Awaking anew, going on, before then choosing life once more.

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Life is hard.

You don't need me to tell you that, but it is. And making the choice to keep moving forward every day speaks to how strong you are, and I applaud you for doing it. I'm so proud of you.

For those of you who haven't met me before— Hi, I'm Tana. I've been writing Sanders Sides fanfiction for a while, starting when I was about 13. Since then, I've grown up a lot. I'm rounding on adulthood now, and recently I've been looking back at some of my very first (admittedly horribly written) works. And it's bittersweet, I'll be honest. On one hand, it brings back nostalgia for that point in my life. On the other, it's hard to know that I'll never be that kid again, you know?

In the last year and a half or so, I've lost a lot of people in my life. Friends, family, mentors. It's been hard. It pulled me away from writing for a while as I took time to remind myself of what really matters: cherishing the time that we have with the people that we love.

But it has changed me. Grief has changed me.

And I guess that's where this story came from. Virgil encompasses, at least for me, the death of the child I was and my innocent view of the world. Virgil choosing to rebuild his life as an adult— regardless of how much life has broken him, is a story that I need right now. Maybe it's a little weird to put this much of my heart into a fanfiction, but like I said earlier, fanfiction— and the Sanders Sides specifically —have followed me through growing up, and I can't really think of doing a piece like this without them.

So all in all, this quirky, artsy little piece is an homage to my childhood, and a love letter to the people that I lost along the way. I love them so much, and I can never thank them enough for being a part of my life.

It still hurts, and I still miss them with my whole being. More than words could ever describe. But it does get easier, over time, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and to reopen my heart to new relationships. But I still carry them with me everywhere.

See? You're not alone. I'm a little broken, too.

And that's okay <3

If you made it this far, thanks for listening to my story. I'd love to hear yours too. I'm looking forward to our next chapter.

Stay strong.

With love,
Tana