LOST IN LUST 18+

15

Ch-15:

Elaena's POV :

I was standing between life and dead.
Did you think, someone come and will save me!
My love of life or a Stanger come to save me from dead, hug me and tell me the life value?

Huh? No, it is real life,noone come in real life at the exact time to save you .

Somehow I managed to calm myself, I always tell myself my fate will change. God will make my life good. After night, morning always come. I was also wishing for light in my life, after darkness. But it is like, darkness is my life. Noone wants me. I am just a wasted goods.

I jump from the railing of the building, but my thoughts were stuck in the same place and also my time. If there no prince charming existed in my life or what! I always used to think I will also find a men, who will love me charis me, just need some time. Good things happens but need time. But how much time it will take, I am now close to 40, when will he come? I live my 40 years of life, I will die soon. Now a days people doesn't live longer , and so many diseases, almost God is calling me towards him.But I can't lose hope, I still dream, someone will come. If you don't have dreams, you are dead. I don't want to die and my mind, heart also doesn't make me lose hope. My heart still beat for someone. Someone whom I can say he is mine or he will say, she is mine.

I went to the bar and start gulping alcohol. I am a light drinker, I easily get drunk and does not remember anything after I get drunk.

I woke up at 6pm. My head hurts, but still somehow I sit on the edge of my bed. I look at my side of the bed. I thought, Simon was here with me last night! Maybe it was just my imagination, he never came back. Why I expect so much from people who doesn't even care for me? I easily fall in love  with people, even a mare people who smile at me because of well manner but I think it is love.
What actually love is? Looking around the couples I always curse my loneliness, why am I alone? Why? Why God? Why am I alone? Did I done something bad, that is why you are punishing me?

I went to the bathroom with hopeful eyes to find simon but No! Noone was there. I sigh out a deep breath. It is a dream. I thought Simon came back to me. It is just a dream Ela.

I look at the clock it is clicking tik tok close to 6:30. I pitch the bridge of my nose and remember I have to attend the business meetings. I hurry up and step out of my dress quickly. I can't be late, I can still feel dizziness. I take my medicine of diabetes and went inside the bathroom. I look at the mirror, it shows whole body of mine.

I look at eyes, they become puffy. I touch my boobs when I notice, there was a red mark in my chest.

I went closer to the mirror to have a good look. What is this? I touched it slowly, where did it come from? Maybe some kind of  rashes!!

I am done with my bath them I search for my phone. It was lying on the floor.

I swipe up the lock screen and find so many missed call from my best friend also so many messages.

Lisa, but I don't have left energy to talk so I ignored it and didn't call her back.

I wear my office wear and call the room service for my breakfast. And becoming ready for the last day of office trip.
I try some makeup to hide my dark circles,i was really exhausted with this. I just can not take any rejection any more. I try to act strong, try hard to not effected by others words but I can not stay strong sadness  always find a way towards me.

Wearing my black covers shoes, I headed towards the official work. I can't show the world, I am breaking, I have to stay strong, at least for my survival. People may think I am independent, confident.. Blah.. Blah. But inside, I wanted to be caged, to do household works,wait for my men at the end of the day.