Book of Random

Paula

My friend Paula and I love texting in improv here is an example. (P stands for Paula) By the way, she tried to pretend she called the cops on me but I knew she was lying.

Me: I know you didn't call the cops, you are too awkward to call the cops. You would end up saying something like, "Yeah, uhhhh, I'm Foxy Fernando Kraken and welcome to my reality show on MTV. I'm not going to be put in jail for stealing that banana right? That was like... 5 hours ago?"
P: OMG! That is so me!
Me: I know!
P: *jumps for joy* You know me so well.
Me: *pulls out gun* Now get on the ground! We know you stole that banana!
P: Gosh darn it man. I already ate it. *crosses arms and pouts*
Me: I said GET ON THE GROUND! *points gun at your head*
P: *sits on the ground* There, fine. I'm on the ground. Woopy do.
Me: *talks on police radio* Okay, we have a violent one here boys. She said 'woopy do'. Is that French or something? *voice comes from radio* Yes, captain. It means F you in French.
P: *rolls eyes* No duh, Einstein.
Me: *rolls eyes* Shut up idiot. Oh sorry, I mean Igor. You that sidekick that's really ugly? Yeah, he reminds me of you. (Remember this is cop me, aka, bad comeback me.)
P: Whatever, I'm tired bish. *falls back on floor dramatically* Woopy do.
Me: *sighs heavily* Woopy do to you too. *picks you up and takes you to my secret cop car*
P: I gtg night.
Me: Fine then, night.