+TYPED OUT-

+HAPPY-

Kenneth stared where he spotted Monday. He couldn't read her face, but one couldn't find an expression more explicit than the woman's crossed arms.

The man paced on the stage and pursued, "love doesn't exist in a symbolic manner all know. It exists as a science where a certain amount of ingredients are needed." Kenneth nodded as though he attempted to convince himself, "ㅡthat's when the scheduling comes in; you want to be the better version of yourself. Those who were here yesterday know what I mean by this. You can't say you have no expectations. I'm sorry to say this, but you've got to have them even in love. You can't dive into a relationship the Yolo way. You must be willing to commit, and this is a non-negotiable. ㅡYour love story will not happen without hard-core investment, and I'm not talking about marriage. I'm talking about being ready to let someone into your garden to mess about in it because unless you get a carbon copy of yourself or pose strict boundaries, there's a chance you meet your polar opposite, meaning the end of life, as you know it.

"With the commitment, ㅡyou have consistency; love takes time." He paused a good three seconds to let the words sink in before pursuing, " when you meet someone that suits your psychical criteria, you're attracted. The person smells good, has nice teeth, wears your favorite color, etc. You like what you see. You need time to surpass the infatuation before starting to fall in love, and no metric measures the time required. ㅡThus, you'll rub those sticks to make fire, and once lit, you need to be consistent to make sure the flames blow with the same intensity. You can't slack off, don't be lazy because the moment you stop working on those flames, it's closing time. So that piece is for the soulmate searchers' version.

"Now I'm going to put your part on pause a second, for a bit of storytime. One of my best friends is a woman called Greta. Greta and I grew up in the same town and went to the same schools. One day we're having lunch. Yes, food is always involved somehow. Anyway, we were having lunch, and Greta went Kenneth; I'm in love with the world.

"I frowned and went Greta, what do you mean? And she goes, I love human beings, but I don't want to be in a love relationship with them. And I dropped my fork and yelled, no, Greta, don't tell me you want to become a nun."

Kenneth paused, "Don't laugh; ㅡI was young and in the Matrix where people were supposed to have a partner to walk through life. Then Greta added I want to have the highest-paid job, the best life, but I don't want a man or a woman in it. I wish to have a child and to help others. Greta went on to graduate. She's an executive in a world-leading multinational. My friend has opened no less than ten hospitals and fifteen classes in developing countries. She works with various associations, and she has recently adopted her little girl. When I last saw her, she said Kenneth; I'm the happiest woman in the world. Greta knew she needed to attain a certain level of wealth to reach her goal of helping others, and she worked all her life for itㅡmy friends' fulfillment lies in what she achieved and being happy without a partner.

"Greta is the reason why I wrote Happy, Alone? Because I realized I was like her. I love people, but I'm unwilling to dedicate my time and commitment to one person. On the other hand, I'm happy to give it here in this exchange. I prefer to be out here attempting to help with these tips. People say I'm altruistic, and my Exs think I'm an assㅡhole," Kenneth whispered, but the mic allowed all to hear and laugh.

"Sorry, I see the censorship board raising their brows. Okay, my job procures me the euphoria and happiness I need, and I'm proud to say I'm a fortyish-year-old man. Yeah, I won't spill the tea on how ancient I am, but I'm happy to be alone because I don't see myself doing everything I said earlier. Some people find it odd, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting the marriage, the kids, and other extravaganzas. It's not selfish; my friend Greta is probably the most charitable person I know.

"So I was then years old when I found out I wasn't part of the soulmate searchers but part of the voluntary lonely hearts club. And guess what? I had a hard time accepting it. I wanted to fit in, and I wanted to be part of the other group because the others were the norm. How many of you are here today that have parents or friends pressuring you to conform to this very patriarchial percept of having a family and reproducing yourself by dozens? Like I'm sorry, I doubt the world needs a few more Kenneths even if I am a truly exceptional being."

Of course, it was humor, and most of the attendees used to Kenneths' talks got it except Monday, who found the man even more full of himself. He probably loved himself too much to care for a lover.

No, that wasn't it. The concept was too easy, almost fictional. Monday revised her theory; Kenneth was an over-thinker. The man couldn't commit to loving when thinking was his only preoccupation. Monday almost felt sorry for him; she recognized not everything he said was nonsense.

Ben and she were of the lot who suffered from the social pressure of being in a relationship that would lead to marriage. The man's words made Monday morose. Kenneth gave more the impression of someone who abandoned before actually trying. He took the simple route, which consisted of saying, this isn't for me. Good luck to you guys. I'm rooting for you. If someone as charismatic as Kenneth found love hard, Monday could throw a towel of defeat.

She needed a cigarette.