Wanting | Andi mack

As The World Caved In

1:00 pm

Johnny

"Damn it!! Reround, lets go-" Anthony demanded as he aggressively pressed the controller without a thought. He definitely took it personally as he watched me kill his player. He groaned in annoyance, I couldn't help but smirk in response. "No fair, Blue Beetle is badass-"

"Yeah but Robin is definitely better." I said with a smug.

"You're just good because you play this game a thousand time like a weirdo." He mocked yet smiled away while letting his legs and arm stretch from sitting for hours. I grinned, this felt good. Playing with him and sitting around doing nothing but drowning in junk food. Just like old times-

Ding! Ding ding ding-

"Girlfriend problems? Shouldn't you pick that up." He mentioned as he pointed at Alissa's name filling through my notifications. Hearing my phone vibrate a thousand times- along with many continuous calls I continue to ignore her. I shouldn't honestly, the tight knot in my stomach, to know how she would've felt being ignored on the other side- after what happened yesterday at the party. I should be the one taking the step to call her and ask if she's okay, but I'm not. "Nah, probably just um.. It's nothing."

"You sure, dude?" Raising an eyebrow at me, I quietly shrugged. Honestly I wanted to avoid it, and I'm doing just that. "Yeah. I just- I'll answer later anyway." I said simply. Then there was silence, just the sound of controllers and the game we were playing consistently. It was fine while it lasted-

"Who was that guy anyway?" He suddenly asked, causing me to pause. Or to be baffled by the sudden question, distracted me from the game, to quietly look at him. I try to act like I wasn't shocked or nervous- trying to focus on the screen and so suddenly I was now a terrible player. Watching him jabbing me with every punch.

"..W-what guy?"

He looked at me oddly but smiled as if I was joking, "Your friend from last night? You didn't even let me introduce myself- kind of feel bad. We should've invited him in and played some games or something."

My face turned slightly red, onle to remember how it really went last night. The night of Anthony's Surprise', it was completely short bliss and confusion. Remembering how he simply grabbed me into a bear hug, with Reed standing there. They didn't even have a conversation, nor did I even say goodbye to him. Or "see you later!", I only remembered dragging him inside before they could even say a word. Leaving Reed in the dark night..

"Hes.. hes not my friend.." I said shyly.

"He's not?" He quoted me, frowning but then he jokingly grinned, " You two seems hella close though- unless hes like a bully. Let me know, I'll pick up some arsenal."

"No.. it's fine." I smiled softly at his words, "It's um. It's complicated."

"Complicated? How so?"

"Just.. nothing really."

"Ight"

Than there was that fucking silence again. To be honest, I wanted to slap myself for not being honest about it. I should've told him, he's my best friend. He deserves to know. So why am I being so difficult?

"Actually.. I have this issue I wanted to mention-" I blurted, pausing the game as I gripped onto my controller as I slowly looked at him. Then again, I don't know what or how I can come about it. Or what me and Reed even are... would he shame me?

"Fasho, what is it?"

"Um.. I have this friend who likes this other person. They really like them, but.. But they can't because of issues, or fear- but they like them alot. They clearly like each other, and my friend.."

"Uh huh."

Fiddling with the stick nervously, what better way can I explain this?? "Is like- afraid to be with that person. They never felt like this with anyone else, and that person suddenly is single. Who wants to be with my friend- should.. What should they do? Cause um.. They asked me for advice and I don't know how to uh. Respond.. What should they do? What if it ends up bad, they uh say.." I rambled on, stopping myself as I felt my face growing hot. I sound like an idiot, he'll think this is weird.. "Sorry.. That doesn't make sense.." I mumbled.

"No it does." He assured me, causing me to blink. It does??? ? "In my opinion.. Advice for you friend-. I mean if they're afraid it's understandable but.. Who gives a fuck? Like go for it, they like each other. Why not, it's legit there and for whatever reason telling them they couldn't. Giving more reason to go for it more."

"They should..?" I asked eagerly.

"Yeah, and if they're afraid it ends up bad.. How could they know? If they think so bad or all the negative it'll end bad. They have to go for it, and think of the present rather than the future. They never know unless they give a chance to try. Leap of faith dude." He said whole heartedly, and somehow those words remain in my head.

"I-I have to go." I stood up immediately, as I grabbed my phone, "I'll be right back!" running to the door before my friend could even say anything.

The sound of bird chipping and leaves being crushed under my foot, standing in the abandoned pool with him . Everything that started, the kiss - the dance .. We were both completely quiet, I have so much to say but unable to say it. I didn't know how to bring it up, so I urgently called him here.

"Lets date." I blurted. My eyes widened as his, it was the first to come out of my mouth to say that. This time I wanted to, without hesitation or nervousness. Without a doubt I said it.

"Johnny-"

" Who cares i'm a disappointment, a failure Or.. people see me as a freak- who fucking cares! I.. I like you, you like me. Leap of faith shit- I really really want to be with you. And if I don't I'll regret shit and I'm tired of regreting and running away all the fucking time." I rambled on in frustration and exhaustion yet I'm here. Taking the leap of faith- "All I'm saying is.. want to be with you Reed." Grasping his hands in mine, "I really fucking like you.."

"I really fucking like you too." He said breathlessly as he smiled, yet he furrowed his eyebrows, "what do you mean someone will see you as a failure or an embarrassment.. Johnny is everything alright..??"

His question and concern baffled me, I couldn't really fathom why. "Yeah- I mean it's fine.." His frown deepened from my response, "You're not.. A disappointment or an embarrassment. Is that what you really think?"

"Yeah.." I admit quietly, I couldn't understand why he can't seem to process that or to be issued with it. His silence slowly panic me-

"Carl Nassib"

"..What?"

"He's a famous NFL player.. Whos happen to be openly gay." He smiled shyly, " Actually the first to open about it, and ever since he was happy. He accepted himself and every one did the same. Sure there were issues on the way within the community, but he was accepted. His teammates loved him, the people looked up to him. He too thought he would be judged but in the end he was loved. You can too.." He assured me as he held my hands back.

"Yeah..?" I asked quietly, couldn't help but smile as this felt right.

"Yeah.." He said it back, as he embraced me into his arms, placing his forehead against mine. It was warm and my cheek was hurting from smiling so much. "I didn't know you were a sports person." I jokingly added.

Grinning back so endearingly, "Sorry- I felt like that information about Carl Nassib needed to be said." He jokingly admitted, "I'm not much of a sports person." I laughed softly as the forest grew quiet. It was finally him and I against the world.