The Forbidden Romance

Chapter 8: It's now come to Loving each other

So, after I had watched him leave me there after just showing me what real pleasure was like I decided I needed to get ready shower time is over I am the last one leaving and we can't afford to get caught with what we just did together. So, I had finished putting my clothes on and cleaning up my room making it look like it did before we fucked each other like we were wild beasts who'd not had enough of each other in a long time. I had left my room to go to the small day room for snacks and medicine before bed time came around. I honestly have fallen in love with my nurse at a place where I'm supposed to be getting better. Also were not allowed to have a relationship with an adult here because it's against the law but also he's my doctor you can't have that kind of relationship he could get fired and go to court and so could I. I had wanted to tell him that he didn't need to worry about us getting into trouble because I'm not that stupid. Also I truly loved him and was just so happy that someone could love me even when I'm so ugly and un-pure the way that I am because of that stupid boy who I truly thought was my friend. But anyways I have to get to the day-room before they suspect something because apparently something like what me and him did has been done before a lot of times so yeah. I should really be careful but so should he because it's his life and job on the lie while for me I've already lost everything I care about and the people who I loved and thought loved me so I have nothing to lose unlike him. Thank god we could have a thing in here such as snack time before bed because I was starving, we had lunch before shower time and I'm starving after what me and jay did so yeah. Anyways I love juice and I was depressed during lunch time so i didn't eat a lot so I'm gonna eat a lot during snack time to bad all they give us is cereal, juice, yogurt and milk not much else like meat or something good, but its called snack time for s reason right its just snacks. So it was now dinner time right before bed and they called us all to line up. *Damn I missed her already, the way she felt so soft and her eyes had me mesmerized and she looked at me with such pure curiosity and love and adoration that I got lost in her eyes for a second while we were enjoying ourselves. I am currently helping take care of the disturbance coming from down the hall that leads to the gym and cafeteria, because they can't get the new guys restrained by themselves so they called for help and I just happened to be the only one who wasn't helping so yeah I got stuck with the job of calming him down and getting him back to his room and such. So, sadly I had to leave her by herself but everything should be fine till I get back because their going to get snacks then dinner and finally go to bed so nothing should go wrong and no one should find out either. I just love her so much she's so pure and innocent despite what happened to her, and how her family treated her while growing up. I can't help but feel  pull towards her, and I just can't ignore the way she makes me feel inside, she makes me feel so loved and cared for and like I;m someone special to her. Someone dear that she can't lose ever and it feels as if though she had lost me she would break down and just die inside and i feel the same way towards her.* Well dinner was interesting was it not, I thought to myself. They actually had some real meat brought for us thank god and it was amazingly delicious, I enjoyed it so much so but still I miss jay. I wonder what he's doing and why I haven't seen him at all because he would usually be the one to help me check my sugar and get a shot for after I ate. But anyways in the coming days me and jay had gotten really close, my friends were asking about us even though they knew nothing and I could tell the other girls in their who didn't like me were getting suspicious about us and out close relationship. So, I had to be careful of them and what me and jay did together and how close we were with each other or he'd get into a lot of trouble and they'll probably say he took advantage of me sense 'm kinda in a mental hospital and all. But we had gotten lined up for breakfast not long after I got so lost in my thoughts like an idiot a second ago. So, for breakfast we had eggs sausage and bacon which sucked thank god they had bread and french toast and other desserts. I had finished breakfast and we were just coming back from breakfast and I had gone to get my medicine but there was a line so while I waited I started to feel like vomiting so I left to the bathroom and vomited my food from this morning. I had felt better after vomiting but my stomach and felt oddly empty but I was happy and glad I had thrown up because even though my stomach my feel oddly empty it's not in pain anymore so I don't mind it as much. But then as I was coming out of the bathroom jay had pulled me aside and he looked at me, and I saw anger but also sadness in his expression, and so I looked down and felt guilty. I had realized why he looked the way he did and I felt horrible for vomiting now, because I knew he was sad because I can get really sick if I vomit to much and he was angry because I forced it and I shouldn't have. " Why would you  force yourself to vomit, you look beautiful just the way you are?" 'Yeah I know that's how you see me, but that's not how I see myself I feel so ugly and dirty and damaged.' He seemed to really care about me, and I just made him sad now I feel really bad and guilty.