they tell me im a god. ♪ BNHA x Reader ♪

30 | i'm losing touch, get me?

(a/n: hi lol :D)

It was rather easy to lose touch with reality when you're constantly being broken over and over again.

Both mentally, and physically.

Disassociating has become quite the commonly recurring theme when dealing with the various punishments being dealt to you day in and day out. These punishments ranged from all spectrums of human consciousness and psychology to every inch upon your body.

The removal and installation of organs without anesthesia, the beatings, the cuts, the bruises, the mental manipulation, the deprivation of food, the deprivation of sleep, the blade embedded in you at all times that prevented you from using your technique.

Your mental state was no better, the constant pumping of drugs into your system not helping whatsoever.

You were broken, day after day.

No matter how much you tried to hold the pieces of yourself together, they would always be shattered by those who claimed to be your "family."

You didn't even know how much time had passed since the day you were forcefully taken back to the place you dreaded most. Away from those you had grown to consider your friends. Days began to blur together, and with no contact with the outside world you couldn't even tell night from day. The bloodstained walls coated in your own bodily fluids provided no comfort, the same damn red light within your prison driving you mad.

It was nauseating.

Each and everyday your body was broken to the fullest extent, only to be repaired within seconds at your father's will.

"You must learn to harness the reverse technique properly," He claimed.

He said all of this was for your own benefit, in order for you to grow as a proper leader for the Kuromiya clan. It was ironic really, you couldn't even find it in yourself to scoff at his words anymore.

You tried fighting back at first, you really tried. But your determination could only get you so far. Your family's words were persuasive, and manipulative.

"It was redundant of you to even think for a second that you would be able to live like those outside of our island."

"You bear the Six Eyes, you are obligated to lead the future of this clan."

"Those maggots in that rotten society are nothing but fools."

"A bearer of the Six Eyes and Limitless has no need to associate with such lowly peasants."

"You'll only get them killed if you interact with them again."

"You had your fun, it's time to get back to work."

"We are the only family you will ever need and want."

You were completely, utterly, broken.

Dissociation was your only way of somewhat coping with your circumstances, finding yourself in an out-of-body state trying your hardest to piece yourself back together. Detaching yourself from reality seemed to be the only way you could continue being human, but at this point you had been degraded to the point where you didn't even think that was true.

You were an object to be used at your family's will.

An "it."

Thinking was one of the things you hated.

Thinking brought along a whole new level of pain you had yet to experience. The mere concept had become a nuisance.

You didn't want to have to think anymore, not for yourself, not about anything. Because whenever you do think, your mind reminds you of all your sins and wrongdoings. How you deserved this. How you had it coming.