Runaways- Runaways 1

Chapter 23: Aaliyah

It was a stupid idea you idiot. Now you look like a fool, a childish fool, as if you hadn't already established yourself as one.

I knew Peyton and Eli were together. I knew that. I was stupid for wanting Peyton at all. I was stupid for every part of this. I'd noticed them sitting together and I'd decided to go up to them. Of course, as soon as I came up, Peyton kissed him. I refrained from thinking about me being the one she'd kissed instead of Eli. I'd only disappoint myself further.

And she's fricking straight. You've fallen in love with a straight girl. Great job Aaliyah. Great job.

I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I knew who it was. "I don't want to talk to you," I muttered, but it came out sounding uglier than I'd meant it to. I exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself.

"Aaliyah," Peyton started. She wrapped me in a hug from behind, catching me off guard. I let out a small gasp. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were there. I promise I wasn't trying to rub it in your face or anything because I know—"

"I know you know," I said, turning around. I pulled out of her embrace. "And it was stupid of me."

"Don't say that," she countered gently. "You're an amazing person. Don't scold yourself like that. I don't blame you. You think I don't know what it's like to be in love with someone you can't have?"

I stayed silent. I had no idea whether she did or not. But I doubted she'd ever fallen in love with a gay guy, much less a straight girl.

"After Marcus broke up with me, I attempted suicide. I started planning suicide again less than a month later when I became jealous of how much time he spent with you."

"But we were never dating," I said, confused.

"I know okay, I was a stupid kid. But truth is, I was in love with him for a long time after we broke up. They say you can't find true love as a teenager, but I swear to God I found it. Heck, I'm still in love with him but I've had to learn that that's not what's meant for us. I've had to figure out how to redirect it to a form of brotherly love instead of romance. Well, I guess not now. Eli is—shoot I shouldn't be talking about that with you. I'm sorry, I'm probably just making this worse." She was rambling now, but I didn't really care.

"It's fine if you talk about it," I whispered. "You deserve to. I've never seen a girl and a guy who understood each other so well, especially after only a week or two. You deserve someone better than me."

She surprised me again by wrapping me in another hug. This time, I wrapped my arms around her too. In a way it broke my heart because I knew we'd never be more than friends, but it also comforted me to at least know she was still here.

"You are one of the most awesome girls I've ever met," she stated. I chuckled.

"Um, no, I think that title belongs to you," I joked.

"Ha, we aren't allowed to play the comparison game." Then we both started laughing. I think most of it was just us releasing nervous energy.

"You think Eli will question you about me back there?" I asked hesitantly. She shrugged.

"If he doesn't ask then I won't tell." 

I nodded. "But I don't want to stand between y'all." I said it more to myself than her, but she gave me a look anyways.

"You don't. I promise. Now can we do something to, I don't know, forget about all this?"

"Why don't you go find Eli?" I turned to see there was no one around the fire. Eli wasn't where he'd been sitting just a few minutes earlier.