Camera With Defective Lenses

Chapter Four: Milkshake For Three

   He knows. Oaklen knows. Oaklen knew everything. He knew little stuff like that I was neighbors with Blaire Faulk and that I was as dumb as the dirt outside his house. But he also knew big stuff like that my dad left and came back and that he couldn't even remember my name. He even knew what I looked like with tears streaming down my cheeks and snot collecting around my nostrils.

   After not getting much sleep that dreary night, I had come to a conclusion. It might be idiotic, maybe even pathetic but considering my lack of sleep, I thought the idea wasn't half assed. While I had complained about not having any friends, that was my subconscious fearing what people would think of my destructive home life. A father that left with the wind and a mother that argued feverishly until she got her way.

   In a way, I wanted him to bring it up, to acknowledge the fact I was almost beyond repairable. That I was fucked up and needed some major help. I could see Oaklen saying that. But then in a different sense, I wanted all to be forgotten. I wanted him to hit his head and lose all memory. Oaklen didn't care about anyone and I knew deep down I wasn't going to be his first.

   I was scared for our next lesson. Not necessarily of him or anything he was prepared to say, but I was fearful of the unknown. How was he going to react? Would he keep in the information until one day he would just spew it all out or would he not appear to be emotionless and share some intimate details? Oaklen was like a loaded gun, you never knew if he was cocked and ready to shoot. Any false moves could trigger him.

   Like Maya Daniels freshman year. Maya had moved here from Spain, Germany, or maybe it was Italy. Her father was in the military and just so happened to retire in the city. She was outrageous and bold, daring and beautiful. Her blond ringlets fell just below her shoulders and her eyes were dark and powerful. She drew in the boys one by one with her charms and her wits. I remember she dated three boys within a two week span. Cole, Connor, and Christopher. No one ever made fun of them for such a short relationship but rather they congratulated them for snagging her. For snagging the foreign beauty.

   Oaklen started dating her around March. I remembered this event clearly because our spring dance was coming up. A lot of different guys asked her to go with the dance with them, but she turned them down. Oaklen mustered up the courage to ask and she accepted with looks of disapproval from the whole school. Kids knew how Oaklen acted and were possibly scared for Maya's fate. And it should have been the other way around.

   After the dance, Maya humilated Oaklen in front of everyone there. She snuggled up to senior Spencer Carrington while she told our peers anything and everything she had gathered from the month they had hung out and dated. From the fact that his mother was about to enter her sixth marriage to the 'fact' he had pre-ejaculated when they got down and dirty at her house while her parents went on their tenth anniversary getaway.

   I watched his face turn stone cold and he walked angrily out of the gym. I remember feeling sorry for him because even if the rumors I heard were true, no one needed to be treated like that. Maya ended up moving away that summer back to Germany or Ireland. By now, I'm sure everyone had forgotten about the incident, no one spoke of Maya anyway. But I was sure that Oaklen thought of it differently.

   "Harper?" My private art teacher, Claude Evans looked over at me. A worried look crossed over his face marked with pencil lead and bright orange paint.

   "What's up?" I tried to nonchalantly say but it came out as a squeak.

   He sighed into his hands, "You've been staring at your canvas for over ten minutes."

   "Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind. I'll work! Don't make me leave." I sang focusing in on my object I was drawing.

   "Do you want to talk about it Harper? I know you too well. I know you're keeping it bottled up." He sat down on the worker's bench beside me.