song? califronia love by tupac
i notice that most writers use the word 'said' too much.
today we'll be going over some do's and dont's with it.
DONT ✖️
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"i want some ice cream" nico said
"me too!" keisha said
"no." their father, carlos, said.
"why not?" keisha said
"because, were about to go home." carlos said
"daddy please!" nico said
carlos phone rang then he answered and said, "hello?"
"come in, now." his boss heather said.
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see thats just.. ew. one method you're about to learn, is by adding 'silly' words. (according to the article im on lol.)
"i want some ice cream!" nico shirked. he squirmed in his seat as they drive past dairy queen.
"me too!" keisha whined.
"no." carlos, their father,'gritted out feeling his blood boiling.
"why not?" keish pouted crossing her small arms.
"because we're going home." carlos once again gritted out. he counted to ten in his head so that he didn't blow up with anger.
nico and keisha whined on and on the whole car ride, but finally fell asleep. carlos phone rang, he lazily picked it up answering it.
"hello?"
"come to work, now!" his boss, heather roared into the phone. she hung up before carlos got to reply.
i'm not saying that you cant say 'said' if you do, use it every other beat. say said for two or three parts of the dialogue. change it up sometimes. add details.
