Thetarune: Book One

Chapter Four | As Puzzling As Ever

"Actually, wait." Ralsei said, turning back. Everyone else looked at him, and Rouxls groaned dramatically, draping himself over an invisible chair.

"W-what is it?" Kris asked.

"We need to buy a map.  Anybody have cash on them?" Ralsei asked.

"D-Don't you know this city?" Kris asked, remembering something Ralsei said.

"I rob people here if that's what you mean..." he responded.

"Do you have any money?" Susie asked. Ralsei chuckled awkwardly, sticking his paws in his pockets.

"Well, no...that's why I was robbing you guys earlier..." He admitted. He thought for a moment before snapping his fingers, which made his claws clack together.

"Hey, I got an idea! I learned this trick when I was a little kid..." Ralsei ran back to the holographic map, and the rest of the gang followed suit.

"Waiteth for me!" Rouxls shouted, breathing heavily. Perhaps a middle-aged homeless man wasn't the best companion for this journey. He eventually caught up and fell into a heap again, whimpering pathetically. The holographic map was projected between two black plastic pillars. One pillar had a small coin slot to pay for a map. Ralsei carefully traced his paw up the bulky side of the stand, and pressed a small button.

"WARNING! UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO COIN BAY WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE DEATH SQUAD DEPLOYMENT!" a robotic voice screeched from the map stand, and Ralsei jumped back.

"Is t-that supposed to happen?" Kris asked. That familiar feeling of unease crept through Susie's body. Her hand automatically moved itself to grab her sword.

"Um...no..." Ralsei said, touching the stand again. The holographic screen flashed red, and an ear-piercing alarm rang out in high-pitched tones. Everyone covered their ears, and Rouxls began wailing and moaning theatrically. That is, until Ralsei kicked him lightly and the miserable blue man stopped, clenching his stomach (although Ralsei had kicked him in the back).

"UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DETECTED! DEPLOYING BIG SHOT BRAND DEATH SQUAD! THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION!" The stand shut off completely, and the alarm kept blaring. Susie immediately summoned her sword, and Ralsei readied his fists.

"I guess they found out that exploit..." Ralsei muttered, searching for the oncoming death squad. Kris' hands stung as they began to warm up.

"IT APPEARETH THAT I AM NOT EQUIPPED FOR THIS SITUATIONE! FIGHT FOR MINE HONOUR, BRAVE EMPLOYEES!" Rouxls shouted, while searching around for somewhere to hide. He found a trash can which was perfectly his size, and dove in like a small child into a ball pit. He just barely crept his eyes over the rim of the can, before pulling back inside like a vaguely psychotic blue snail.

"Fine then, piss off." Ralsei nonchalantly said, noticing a car in the distance approaching slowly. It had yellow and pink flashing lights, a combination which made Kris' eyes hurt.

"Guys, I think that's our death squad." Susie said. Kris was nervous.

"H-hey guys? I have a question..." Kris said, tugging at their robes.

"Ask it quick. That car is getting closer." Susie said, not breaking eye contact or fighting stance.

"Could we maybe try and reason with them? A-and not fight? Or at least t-try?" They sheepishly asked. Ralsei turned to stare.

"Uh, how do you reason with a death squad? Besides, you didn't ask this when King attacked us. You burned his ankles and knocked him off a car!" Ralsei pointed out. The car zoomed closer. And you stabbed him in his weird boneless chest!  Kris thought, but composed themself.