rich # hyunin

about feelings or felix?

"Chan is your ex?! Bang Chan?"

"Yes, you idiot. Now keep it low-key. His new boyfriend is around."

Changbin looked angry. We just arrived at the after-party and Jeongin got ahold of the news pretty quickly. He was just as shocked as me.

"We broke up after he moved to Korea. Something about starting new. Not like we literally overcame a long distance relationship. Then he started dating this Felix guy and I lost all hope."

My best friend let out a loud sigh, his shoulders hanging low. It was a rather rare sight seeing Changbin so defeated. Not even when he quit his job at my dad's. Chan must have meant a lot to him.

"Anyway, I guess I will go hookup with someone to make myself feel better. See you later."

And that's how it ended up just being me and Jeongin.

I had to admit I was very distracted this whole day but he looked insanely beautiful in his suit. And nervous too?

"Hey, now that Changbin is gone and I made enough deals to call it a day, wanna go get some fresh air?"

Without thinking about it, I took his hand in mine and led him to the nearest balcony. It was always interesting how different things were once you went outside.
Inside, it was loud and since it's a rather formal gathering, not the best party you could imagine.

"Hyunjin, I think we need to talk."

God, how I hated that sentence.

"Sure, what's up?"

Even though I tried to be chill about it, I was slowly but surely getting anxious about this whole situation and I bet he noticed. After all, Jeongin knew me too well.

"Do you think our relationship is going anywhere? Like, do you see a point in whatever that is that we have going on?"

He took a deep breath and when his eyes met mine, I noticed how tired he must have been.

"Do you think-" his voice broke but he still had a soft smile on his face while the tears in his eyes threatened to fall any second.

"Do you think you can let me go?"

He turned his head back to look at nothing specific, my chest felt tight.

"Can you, Hyunjin? Because, I will never fit in. This whole day people have told me how you deserve better and you do. I am no more than any other employee. I work for you. I gave up on my dreams to see you again."

As I tried to find the words to say, I found the lump in my throat getting in the way. It was like millions of darts hitting my heart over and over again.

"I realized that you were my dream, Hyunjin." Jeongin's giggle had never felt more painful.

"But maybe that's it. Maybe you will always be nothing more than a dream. Further away than a thousand suns."