Firecracker (On Hold)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ariya's P.O.V.

I am seething right now! No, that's not a strong enough word. I don't even know what word to use. My vision and thoughts are clouded by rage. I want to rip his throat out and shove it up his butthole. Who does he think he is?! He knows I don't like being touched or restrained and he does this?!

I'm angry at myself too. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. To be honest, I thought that maybe he was different so I didn't expect him to do something like this. He has shown me that everyone is the same. They all betray you and stab you in the back. He pretends like this is for my own good, but if he really wanted to be my friend, he wouldn't do this. Friends don't tie people up and lock them up just to get them to talk. He's just like all the others and I have no intention of revealing anything else to him. He's scum, filth. First chance I get, I'm gone. I don't care about my honesty policy. I don't care if he sees me as a liar now. I'm getting out of here as soon as I can. I don't even care if I die trying to escape.

We sit in silence. I can play this game. I'm good at this game. I don't think Justin realizes just who he's playing with here. I'm used to not talking to people or not having anyone to talk to, so silence doesn't bother me in the slightest.

He is right about one thing though. I don't have the energy to keep trying to escape right now. I'm tired. I haven't slept since the night I told Justin I killed my poor excuse of a father. Well, I haven't slept properly. I am aware of the fact that I'm not as in control as I used to be. Waking up in Justin's arms completely threw me for a loop. I still don't know how to deal with that. There's so many reasons for that. The main one being, I've never felt safe enough to just do that. Now, I'm not saying I'm a saint and I've never slept with a man. That surely would be lying. However, I've never stayed the night and I've certainly never willingly laid in their arms, especially to fall asleep. So, waking up with Justin's arms wrapped around me has totally messed with my brain. Truthfully, I'm disappointed with myself for that. It means I've let my guard down. I trusted him to some extent, which means I thought he was different. Shows how whacked out my judgement is, huh? That makes me angry and disappointed with myself. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never trust another person. I'm here a couple of months and I wake up in the arms of the guy who is insisting something is wrong with me; that I need to be 'fixed'. I thought I escaped from all that trash years ago. Obviously not.

I just want him to untie me.

Justin's voice brings me out of my thoughts, “Why should I untie you? Why should I trust you?”

I must look shocked, because he clarifies, “You were thinking out loud.”

Oh crud, what else did I think out loud? He doesn't give anything away, so maybe I'm safe for now. Man, this tiredness must be worse than I thought. I have to be more careful.

“You haven't answered either question. Why do you think I should untie you? You've shown me you can't be trusted. You really think I'm going to allow you to try and give me a beating or as you like to say, rip my throat out? You might think I'm stupid, but I assure you I'm not. I'm not giving you any chance to do any more damage to anyone.”

I'd even promise not to throw a single punch if I thought it would get me out of these restraints. I hate being restrained. Nothing good ever comes of being tied up. However, I'm proud and stubborn, so I refuse to show that weakness. If he's going to hurt me, then I'll take it and get revenge after. He can't keep me tied up forever. If or when he gives me an opportunity, I will get loose and kill him. Now, I don't use that term lightly. Speaking as someone who has already killed, it's not an easy thing to do or live with. But, if I'm faced with a me or them situation, I will make that decision, as we have already discovered. My father would have killed me if I didn't get him first. It might not have been that particular day, but it would have happened.

“You think you're being clever and strong by refusing to talk? No, you're really not. You're just showing me that you're stubborn and proud. I like you, Ariya, I actually do. I don't know why, because you've given me nothing but trouble since you arrived, but I do like you. However, you need to stop being so self-centered and selfish. Not everything is about you and the way you want things to be done. There's a whole world out there that doesn't revolve around you. You going to fly off the handle and beat up everyone that upsets you, offends you or makes you angry? That's one sure way to get thrown in jail for life. What a waste of your life. You have potential but you're wasting it by throwing your life away with all this anger. You need to deal with it and that's what I'm here for. So, what's it going to be?”

I roll my eyes and glare at him. Does he really think that's going to work on me? Doesn't he know where I've come from and what I've already endured? He obviously doesn't realize all the sessions I had with the shrinks that thought they could fix me. I never gave them any information, so why should he be any different? If he thinks this is going to make me uncomfortable and throw him some information, then he's severely mistaken.

He closes his eyes and says, “I'll just take a nap until you're ready. Don't bother trying to escape because I will hear you.”

Yeah, because he has supersonic ears or something. Maybe he's half bat. That would mean his eyesight was bad though, and somehow I don't think he suffers with any defect in his gene pool. He's probably got perfect parents and perfect grandparents too. Well, they're perfect enough to produce such a good looking son and grandson. I don't like him, but I can appreciate beautiful things. It's not like I have to admit it to him, is it?

The silence pulls at my need to sleep and I find myself starting to drift off. When my head lowers, I snap it up and whisper, “Oday Aboushi, Antonio Allen, Jace Amaro, Colin Anderson, Jason Babin, T.J. Barnes, Nick Bellore...”

Justin groans, “What are you doing?”

“Tommy Bohanon, Curtis Brown, Willie Colon, John Conner...”

“Why do you keep doing that? You deliberately trying not to sleep?”

I pause in my mantra. Mostly because his guess derails my thoughts.

“So, you don't want to sleep. Is that in general or just because I'm here?”

I don't comment. I simply carry on making my way through the Jets roster.

“So, it doesn't matter that I'm here? You wouldn't sleep if I left you here on your own?”

There's the tiniest hesitation in the next name, which he catches. He's good at this game too. I underestimated his ability.

“Hmm, so it's because I'm here. Why don't you want to sleep with me in here? Maybe it's because you're restrained and can't hit me?”

I don't give him anything this time. I've learned from my last two stupid mistakes.

“You want me to keep guessing? I'm quite good at this, I have to warn you. I think you don't want to let your guard down, so you don't want to sleep with me in the room. I don't know what happened to you, but I do know that someone sure did a number on you. I don't know if it was your dad or someone else, but they sure messed you up.”

I make my way through the Jets roster and then start on the Giants names. I'm half way through the team when Justin nearly exclaims, “It's team rosters! I can't believe I didn't get that before... You need better taste in teams, but still...”

I don't comment. I'm not getting into this. I don't even want to acknowledge him, let alone talk to him. There's only so much the body can take before it eventually does what it needs. When your body is so tired it can't possibly keep itself awake anymore, then it will make you sleep. That's the last thing I remember thinking before falling asleep.