when we were young

confrontation

first day of ODM training had been completed and the sun was setting.

today was an easy day, and you had been making your way back to the bunks for bed.

disappointingly, you had sat alone, again, for dinner. this was a usual occurrence, especially after bertholdt announced his plan to act like your group didn't know each other, but tonight you were hoping maybe you'd sit with jean.

the dining hall was so large and the fact that all of the cadets ate together, made finding a familiar face difficult.

so there you sat,

alone.

you were praying inside that you would here that voice again.

that "hi."

you wanted him to bother you right now as you ate. you wanted to talk to him and have an actual conversation with him that went beyond "hi's" or saying each others name.

you just wanted to be with him.

even if you two just sat next to each other in silence and just ate

that would be enough.

but why would you ever get, enough?

it didn't matter, even if jean did notice you in the hall by yourself, why would he approach you again?

he probably had his own friends to sit with.

but that was the thing,

you didn't know.

the truth was that you really didn't know jean beyond a few words exchanged.

but you wanted to know more. he was the first person on paradis you actually liked being with. it was a nice change from the loneliness you felt ever since arriving here.

sure, you had annie, but being with jean was different. you couldn't describe it.

being near him was

addicting.

that's why you wanted to see him again so bad.

so you could understand why you felt this way or maybe you'd realize it was nothing and move on.

but move on from what?

you were being so dramatic.

there was nothing there.

and even if there was something, what the hell could result from it?

you were on a mission. being here had a purpose, even if it always didn't feel that way.

but in all honestly you couldn't stop thinking about the last thing jean said before you walked away earlier in the day.

"nothing like jaeger to kill the mood."

so does that mean he was trying to set a mood?

or did he even have to try? was there already one?

as you ate and thought about jean, you came to find one familiar face in the dining hall.

well three.

armin, eren and mikasa.

you contemplated walking over and sitting with them, but you figured you had bothered them enough today. plus eren's behavior earlier had pissed you enough as is.