When Sanity Is Lost: A ZaDr/Zim x Dib fanfic AU

Looking for Forgiveness

Zim slumped in his command throne, resting his arm on the chair and propping his head up with his hand. "That human..." he found himself mumbling. He watched the Earth from his elevated position, slowly turning as time went by. He figured if he tried to go after Dib now, he may only be seen as clingy. However, if he waited too long, would it appear he didn't care?

Zim dropped his hand from his chin to the arm of the chair, rhythmically tapping his fingers on the smooth material. His frown deepened, and his eyes scrunched for a moment. He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them, only to do it again but on the opposite side. He then began to adjust his gloves, before ultimately running his fingers along his scar.

Zim gritted his teeth and stood suddenly, making the Irkens in the room flinch collectively. He stormed out of the command room, looking right, then left down the hallways. He balled his hand into fists and grumbled, closing his eyes and teetering side to side before he began to go left.

He stopped at the end of the hallway and did what he had done previously. His antennae twitched and he leaned more right than left this time. He repeated the process down the ship's vast halls until he stood before a door. He felt a headache coming on but pushed it on the back burner of his mind. 

Taking a deep breath, he knocked lightly on the door. He hesitated to speak, crouching down suddenly and knocking louder on the lower part of the door, making himself seem smaller.

When he heard movement inside, he couldn't help but frown. He stood back up just as the door slid open, Dib looking down before his eyes trailed up to meet Zim's. "Oh, it's just you," Dib said harshly, eyes cold. Zim felt a chill from the human's gaze, but it did little more than anger him.

He grinned menacingly and leaned in slightly. "Expecting someone else, then?" Dib flinched and broke eye contact. Zim knew he had, as the human said, hit the nail on the head. He was about to make a murderous remark but remembered why he even left the control room in the first place. He straightened up and cleared his throat, to Dib's obvious surprise.

"You may contact whoever it was if you wish. I simply came to...say sorry for my crass behavior earlier. I hope that you can forgive me, Dib.

Dib stared at Zim, clearly dumbfounded, but soon recovered. "Promise me something, then I'll forgive you." Zim brightened up, a genuine smile returning to his face. Dib's expression became serious. "If you promise something, You must keep to that promise. If you break it, I won't be around the next time you come looking for me."

Zim's smile fell and his expression became grim. "I... Understand. What would you like me to promise?" Dib held uncomfortable eye contact with Zim for a few moments before speaking. "I do not belong to you, nor do I have any intention of going by your every whim. If I befriend someone, you have no right to take them away from me."

Zim already hated where this was going, but he kept his mouth shut. "-additionally, I expect that we treat each other as equals in this relationship. And finally..." Zim closed his eyes in preparation for Dib's words, but they never came. Instead, he felt Dib's arms wrap around him. His eyes blinked open and he returned the gesture. "You aren't allowed to leave me. Ever." Dib mumbled, resting his head on his shoulder.

Zim felt an odd flutter in his chest. He rested his head on Dib's, smiling softly. "Yes, I promise." He said gently.

The two stood there for a long while, each taking solace in the other's embrace.

Zim was the first one to break the hug, taking a step back and holding the side of his head, grimacing. "Forgive me. Finding you proved to be a bit difficult. I... I'm going to lay down for a while." Before Dib could reply, Zim had already begun walking swiftly down the hall. 

Dib followed behind the Irken, not having the mind to just let him walk off. "What's wrong? Does your head hurt?" he asked, frowning as he felt it was kind of obvious with Zim clutching his head and all. "Yes, it's just another one of my... defects. I ask you not to worry. I'll recover. Go make some friends or something."

Zim's tone became somewhat rude, but Dib decided not to take it to heart. "I will, as soon as I see that you get to your room okay." Zim paused and looked back. "How kind." He said rather monotonously. His face was unreadable as well. Without a moment's warning, blood poured out of the Irken's mouth and splattered onto the floor and onto Dib's shoes. In his moment of horror, Zim patted Dib on the shoulder. 

"Please leave me alone for now." He said sternly before activating his PAK limbs and scuttling down the hall, leaving an obvious trail of red in his wake. Dib recovered seconds too late and Zim was out of sight before he could call out to him. Dib stood in the empty hallway for a few minutes, staring down at the puddle before him.

He heard a gasp behind him, catching his attention. He turned slightly and saw two Irkens, whose faces had gone pale. "Um, do you have anything to clean this up with?" Dib asked, having every intention of cleaning it up himself.

"We will take care of it, sir! please don't trouble yourself!" The two said in unison, shooting him down immediately. He tried again but was once again shot down. With a sigh, he decided to walk off, following the blood. He hastened his pace once he was out of the Irkens sight, only to stop abruptly seconds after.

He stared down the hallway but didn't see any more blood, not even a drop. there were no doors either in which Zim could have gone in unless perhaps it was hidden. Dib began to pat down the walls but it wasn't long after he felt a tug on his pant leg. He paused and looked down to see a familiar face smiling up at him. He returned the smile and knelt before the small alien. "Hey, Mek! Glad to see you're doing well."

Mek nodded. "I was worried for a while, but I kept my head low and stayed out of My Tallest's way." Dib was relieved, while he had run off earlier he assumed that Zim had already discovered Mek. "Don't worry, I told Zim that he couldn't hurt any of my friends." Mek beamed. "Mek.. is a friend?" The Irken asked, voice hopeful. 

Dib nodded and grinned but his smile was quick to fade. "Mek, I need to ask you something. It's Alright if you don't know the answer, but if you do I ask you to tell me anything you can." Mek seemed to catch Dib's tone, and quickly agreed, seeming focused.

"Zim is hurt right now, but I don't think it's life-threatening. He said it was something to do with a defect, and trying to find me I guess." Mek nodded, lowering his head. "My Tallest has many problems, it seems. Trying to find you, Mek assumes it has to do with his antenna, which was damaged long ago."  Dib glanced around at the empty corridor in which he found himself. "He ran off, and I saw him go this way, but the blood-" 

Mek cut him off. "Mek cannot answer." 

Dib looked back at Mek, sighing but nodding. "It's alright. I am grateful for the information you were able to share." He stood back up and began to pat on the walls again. "I do need to find him though, I shouldn't let him suffer alone. Besides, I-" He paused and looked back, but Mek was no longer standing in the corridor with him.