can you love me most ✓

30

October 23.

It was a cold evening here on a Saturday in England. I have been doing great these past months. But some part of me was missing. Some part of me that never showed up and that I haven't heard a word from in nine months.

I still love him the same way I did when I left. Even more if that is possible. I tried to move on and maybe give another guy a chance.

But compared to this man, there is no other man existing that understands me and makes me feel like he does. I miss him. I really do.

I just finished my dinner in my favorite Café where I met the most amazing woman. Holly is a lonely seventy year old woman who owns the Café and bakes the best cheesecake you have ever tried.

She is basically my best friend here. She told me I am like a daughter to her. She baked a cake for my birthday tomorrow and asked me to celebrate my day with her here because I'm not going home for this year. She didn't want me to celebrate my day alone so she volunteered to spend it with me.

I moved out of the college room in February and moved into a small apartment right next to her Café without knowing her. I only met her when I was picking up some matcha to go to school and she had a place in my heart ever since that day.

"Well what are you going to do for the evening, dear?" She asks me while she puts away some dishes and I put on my coat to leave. "I guess I'm just going to clean up my whole apartment. It really needs some deep cleaning."

"Oh don't say this... I know what your apartment looks like and it definitely doesn't look messy at all. But I'll see you tomorrow right?" I grab the door handle and look at her one last time, smiling lightly. "Yeah. See you, Holly. Have a great evening." I say, open the door and make my way to the building of my apartment that is only one minute to walk away from it.

I looked at my phone to look at the timetable for the following week when I looked up as I put my phone into the pocket and almost had a heart attack.

It's already getting dark so maybe my eyes are playing a trick on me.

This can't be real... it can't be. He's here. Probably only standing 32 feet away from me. Looking at me. Smiling at me.

There she is. This beautiful woman. She stands still in front of me, not knowing what to do and how to react. But there are small tears making their way down her face on the cold floor.

And then she starts smiling before she makes her way running over to me and jumping into my arms. Her legs are wrapped around my hips, her arms so tight around my neck... she's here. She's back in my arms. And god, I will never let her go again.

Her hair is even longer than I have in memory... her smell even more addicting then before. My love to her even bigger.

"You're here." She says, sobbing into my neck as I just pull her even closer to me, get my face in her neck and also can't hold bach my tears and my emotions. "I am, baby. I need to talk to you..."

"You want some coffee or something?" I was about to ask him if he wanted tea.. but then remembered. Strange human.

"No thank you." So I take my tea, get to the sofa where he is sitting and sit myself on the other side of it to have a little distance between us. I have catched a little cold so I tuck myself in and warm my fingers on the cup.

"Why are you here? How did you know that I live here?" He can't know that from the school register this time. "Eliana told me. She told me you wouldn't come over here. So I finally got my shit together and flew here. I know it took me long but I guess I have to admit that these nine months without you have been the worst I have experienced in a long time."

I don't answer him. I don't know if I can believe him. And he notices that. "Listen.. I want to tell you about Emma. If you let me."

So I let him talk. And he told me everything. From how they met and were just friends.. how they got together and when they got married until she got pregnant.. and then even about the accident and what happened after. Now I understand why he cried when Adriana announced her pregnancy.

And then I look at his left hand. On the naked finger. Just a little tan line is on it where the ring was on it months ago.

I'm clutching the blanket so hard that it almost hurts my fingers. I should have let him talk. So now I let him talk. I let him tell me everything he wants to tell me.

"I did love my wife, Gia. I really did. But I think in the end she only prepared me for what is hopefully really going to be my forever. And I know that I should have told you sooner because I have known this for so long but I love you, Gianna. I really do."

God, I love you too. So much... And I want to be selfish for once amd ask him something I have asked myself for all these nine months... so I ask him.

"Can you love me most?"

Keenan looks up at me with teary eyes and lets out a weak scoff. "Oh bellissima, I already do."

He doesn't have to say more. Call me weak and stupid but I jump up from the sofa, and jump into his lap to grab his face and kiss him.

It's been so long since I've kissed him. "I love you so fucking much." He tells me inbetween hungry kisses as he unbuttons my blouse and pulls it down my shoulders before opening my bra. "I love you too."

_____

I am crying🥺🥺

I have never loved a couple more than I love them.

AND I HAVE MADE IT 30 CHAPERS IN UNTIL THEY FINALLY COMMITTED THEIR FEELINGS AHHHHH

anyway what do you think?

Love youuuu