Poppy/H.S

Chapter 31

I was tossing and turning the entire night, and despite the fact that my eyes were closed most of the time, I was unable to fall asleep. I kept clenching the necklace Harry had given me for babysitting Poppy for him, holding onto it with my trembling hands for my dear life. I couldn't understand that the same man whose face I see every time I look at the necklace, was the reason of my sleepless night. I was feeling extremely confused, as I hadn't expected him to react this way.

Was he jealous?

I couldn't help but wonder, if this was the reason of him storming out of the room so suddenly. The thing that kept me up all night was remembering the way his mood changed dramatically when I mentioned who my ride to the airport was; Gordon. This made me feel extremely guilty of accepting his offer, but at that time, I had no idea that Harry would be so kind to offer, too. I was debating whether to call Gordon and cancel, but then I remembered I had to discuss some stuff regarding Louise with him anyway, mainly on Harry's demand.

On one hand, Harry wanted me to give up the case and talk to Gordon and Louise again about not pressing the charges, but on the other hand, the man couldn't stand the thought of Gordon driving me to the airport. What does he want then? How am I supposed to talk to him if he not face to face? You don't discuss a matter like this over the phone.

Nevertheless, the possibility of Harry being jealous makes my heart flutter. It means he cares about me just as much as he says, if not even more. If I were in his shoes, I'd probably be jealous, too. The thought of Harry spending his free time with someone else other than me makes me feel powerless, but I would never let him know that.

Harry and I are far from being in a romantic relationship, as for, neither of us have a valid reason to be jealous. As much as I'd like to tell him he had no reason to be jealous because he's the only person in my life I care about, I can't confess my romantic feelings to him just yet. The fear of being rejected makes my body tremble with anxiety. The risk of losing him and Poppy forever is not worth it.

Opening my eyes is a real struggle for me, since I didn't have the time to remove my make up at all yesterday and considering the amount of tears I'd shed, my eyelids feel rather heavy. After opening my eyes and dedicating my full attention to the window in that's to the left side of the telly, I squint my eyes at the sudden brightness, guessing it could be around 6 or 7 in the morning. The empty place next to me signals that last night really wasn't just a bad dream, it's the reality. Harry is still angry with me. For some reason, worrying about having disappointed him bothers me more than anything else in the world.

Why is it that I value his opinion the most?

I take by heart every word the man lets out of his mouth, analysing every syllable. I feel hurt by his yesterday's actions. Of course, if I had the opportunity to choose anyone in the world to drive me to the airport, I would have chosen Harry with no hesitation. I know his driving skills are exceptional, and I've always felt safe with him behind the feel. He knows what he's doing, always being extra careful with me and Poppy in the car. He never honks, even though he has had the opportunity to do so several times, considering how inconsiderate the other drivers were. He never curses the other drivers, even though they've made him out his foot on the break pedal a few times. He always handles the situation rationally, not wanting to make absurd decisions. London traffic is crazy, which is why I always appreciate it when someone offers to give me a ride. Even though I've got my driver's license, I could never imagine driving through the busy streets of London. Of course, I'm saving up for a car because it's a necessity these days, but my intentions would be to rather just drive around Brighton so that I could get to my clients' quicker. I can already say with certainty that if I buy a car, I'll still be taking the train to London as driving in busy traffic makes me anxious.