Ink Whisper ~ [jikook] ✓

65

A/n:
the panic, yall
it's real

- ° ° • . __ . • ° ° -

Jimin came back to his senses slowly. First, he felt his own breath coming and going in an even manner, soon after feeling the daylight pressing over his eyes. Then came the sound of Jungkook breathing right next to him. His Kookah was always next to him, just like it should be forevermore.

He smiled, feeling the man's warmth. Jimin had a good dream tonight. A dream of him and Jungkook walking together, each holding a hand of a tiny being that jumped over puddles between them. They were happy. They were looking at each other as if theirs was the only world worth living in. Every colour was brighter, every sunray - warmer, every chuckle - more melodic and pure.

Jimin smiled, not wanting to let the dream go. He wanted to bask in it for a moment longer. He wanted to remember the feeling he and Jungkook shared in this imagined, wonderful future so that it would be something to look forward to.

He had always dreamed about having a girl. Always woke up to his smiling Jungkook and told him all about his dreams. This time, though, it wasn't a girl Jimin saw in his imagination. As he had looked down, finally moving his shining eyes away from Jungkook's smiling face, Jimin had seen that between them was walking a boy. A boy with a big nose, and a giant, slightly crooked smile.

Weird how his mind changed his dream so suddenly, flipping from having a girl to a cute, Jungkook-look-a-like boy.

Jimin couldn't wait to tell his love all about it.

But when he prepared to roll around and into Kook's arms, waiting for the weight of his stomach to make the movement slower, everything became wrong.

He gasped himself awake. His eyes filled with tears when Jimin realized that he was not even in their bed. The covers were all wrong, smelled of medicine and cheap laundry detergent and brushed against his skin too roughly. The light was not a rising sun from their bedroom window, it was the hospital lamp that kept flickering over his head. The birds from his dream were not animals at all, but the beeping of the machines he was hooked up to.

The beeping got faster the more Jimin felt.

Or didn't feel.

There was no roundness over his stomach. There was no weight of their daughter laying over him, kicking him for moving too frantically, no other heartbeat he imagined hearing from time to time.

There was no baby.

"K-koo?"

Jungkook, who had passed out on the chair next to Jimin's bed, all bent over with his arms and head resting on the side of his bed. The first whisper brushed over him unnoticed. Jimin snuffled and tried again, this time reaching out a hand to touch his other half. "Kookah?"

The touch of his shaking fingers and uneven voice finally took Jungkook out of his slumber. His head snapped up, unruly hair poking his eye before he brushed them aside, and found Jimin's face with two bloodshot eyes.

"Baby," he breathed, leaving his chair immediately, and leaned over Jimin's confused face. "You're okay, you're okay--"

Jimin closed his eyes for a moment, letting Jungkook leave a bunch of desperate kisses all over his face. But he was still confused. He felt wrong, like something went terribly amiss. And Jungkook's trembling voice did nothing to ease his worry.

"Koo," he breathed again, looking into his boyfriend's eyes, dreading the answer. "How... How did it go? Are we having a girl?"

For a second all went still, Jungkook's expression morphing into a mask, not wanting to show the answer. He didn't want the next moment to come. He didn't want to break his Jimin's heart.

"Koo?" the despair was growing inside. "Please-- what's wrong? Is It a girl?"

"I don't know," Jungkook choked out, his voice almost too quiet to be heard over the beeping machines. Jimin saw his lower lips start to tremble violently as the dark eyes filled with tears before he lowered his gaze.

"Wh-what do you mean, you don't know, Kookah?" His hands shook as he reached out to clutch the other stronger, like holding on to Jungkook would help him not to fall. "Please, tell me - are we having a girl or a boy?"

With each word over Jimin's lips, his own voice became weaker. Already knowing the answer even before Jungkook's pain-filled gaze glanced up again.

"We are not--" the older man croaked, "we are having neither, my love."

It was as if the world had just ended. Like a blast, the size of a mountain hit him from every side, with no sound at all. The only lifeline being a set of doe eyes, red, teary and full of regret.

"No," Jimin whispered, face scrunched up in pain. "No, my baby, Koo, our baby--"

Jungkook broke down when he saw Jimin crumble. "I know, I know--" He reached for him, cradling the trembling body in his arms as he listened to Jimin cry out for their lost baby.

They clung to each other, gasping for breath, both wishing that this was not their reality. Jungkook's heart, already bruised and cracked from his previous choice, broke into a million pieces over and over again as he tried to contain his own pain. Jimin was more important right now. The wail of loss that he screamed against Kook's chest went through him like a thousand arrows.

Jungkook's hands were gentle as he held him. He kissed his hair, tried to whisper assurances that fell too short, silently crying in between the blonde locks. He was still careful not to startle Jimin's body too much, fear of opening the stitched stomach and hurting him even more gnawing at the back of his mind.

"We'll be okay, we will be okay, my love--" he choked out, even though he knew they won't be. Not for a long time.

"B-but how-, how can this happen? Why us?!"

"I don't know, I don't. I'm sorry," the man swallowed. "I'm so sorry!"

They cried for a long time, clinging to each other like the other was their lifeline. Jungkook, full of guilt and loss, was not sure how to tell Jimin about the choice he had made. He wasn't ready to come out, not now. He probably never would be.

How can you explain to the love of your life that you had to make a choice between them and their baby?

It ate his mind, consumed it until he finally passed out with Jimin in his arms. Both tired and emotionally drained from everything that happened.

Soon, Jungkook promised before he lost consciousness. He'd tell him soon.

A/n:
I was actually on a vacation and that's why it took a little more time to finish this chap.
I MET SOMEONE FROM WATTPADDD!!!! IRL!! :ooooooo