Let me respawn (Discontinued)

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 3

Two days past and after four attempts i still get saved by spiderman. The ones during the day i did was falling off a bridge into ongoing traffic and running into traffic. And i tried jumping off the roof but got saved. I just say that i have an attraction to the roof and i praise spiderman. He just tells me the same. But he seems to get abit more hopeless each time, like he might be catching on but surely not, right? And at school i seem to notice peter more and him looking at me more. Kinda weird.

I'm now laying in bed after a day at school and i didn't attempt anything because i am actually tired. I'm just gonna jump off the roof. Time goes by and its 12. I think i'm gonna just always do it at 12.

I make my way up there but instead of doing it straight away i sit down on the edge. I look around to see if i can see spiderman. With him not in sight i start playing a song on my phone out loud.

(Prom dress by mxmtoon plays)

I hum along with the lyrics until i start basically singing along. I'm now swaying with the song sitting on the edge of the building. The cool breeze pushing agaisnt me makes me feel light. Right now i feel free, i feel kinda happy. This is really nice. I should do this every time instead of just walking off. Yup, this is it. The song starts ending and with the final two claps before the cute giggle, i push myself off the edge and start falling forward. This time i keep my eyes open and i let everything in. The lights, sounds, smell. Something about this attempt feels different. I might succeed, finally. I let out a big smile realising i might reunite with my sister and family. And get out of this lonesome world.

I then feel something tug on my back, causing me to stop so abruptly in the middle of the air. I immediately knew, spiderman. I'm now swinging in the air and i just look down at the people below, no one noticed me swinging in the air. It felt nice not being noticed but also depressing. But i guess that's why i'm trying so hard to die. I let out a heavy sigh before realise i'm getting pulled up. With the ground being dragged away from me a bit by bit, i finally reach the roof. Spiderman grabs my collar quite harshly and pulls me up.

"OW!" I let out while rubbing my neck and looking around to see spiderman approaching me. "thanks for saving me but cant you be abit softer. I know this has happened a lot bu-" I get cut off by spiderman yelling at me. "WHY!" he says with a broken tone. "wh-what?" i say genuinely confused. "Why do you keep doing this. I didn't realise it at first, but after you jumping off the roof the third time, I knew straight away!" he yells at me. "wait what?" i say slowly getting up but feeling like i'm getting threatened by spiderman. He approaches me which causes me to back away a bit. "Stop fooling around! I know what you're doing! Stop lying!" he says still walking up to me. "wa-wait, what are you talking about?!" I say taking steps back but get chills sent down my spine by realising i'm up agaisnt a wall. "Stop acting! I know that you're trying to kill yourself!" He says which makes me freeze. His face now 10 inches away from mine. He stares me dead in the eyes. Am.. am i getting yelled at by spiderman.?

"uh-...i-uh. I-" i start saying but i cant get a word out. Instead my eyes start to drip liquid. I then realise i'm crying, but why. My body feels weak and i suddenly fall to the ground while balling my eyes out. Spiderman quickly notices and goes from dominant to regretful. He crouches down by me and hugs me. He puts his hand on the back of my head and wraps his arms around me tightly. "i-i'm sorry" He says with a sad expression, and sounding like he is tearing up. I don't say anything, i just dig my head into spiderman's neck, letting myself cry on him. Without thinking, my arms lift up and go around spiderman. My head is empty for the next few minutes, i just experience the hug.

A few minutes past and i sniffle, quietly letting out "i-i'm okay". After hearing this spiderman takes his arms away from me and sits down in front of me. I try wiping my face and hiding it from him. "hey uh-. I'm sorry" he says but i still cover my face. "Please... i'm sorry" He says with a hurting tone. Why is he apologising. He did nothing wrong. He just stated the obvious, whether it hurts me or not. I am suicidal and that's okay. I'm okay.. I take my hands away from my face, revealing a red nose and eyes. I wipe the last few tears before replying. "i'm sorry" i didn't know what else to say. I say this while looking everywhere but spiderman. "what?! Why are you sorry" he says. "for wasting your time.... with all... my um.. attempts". I say still not meeting his gaze. "w-well uhm.. You weren't wasting my time. I will save anyone no matter what. It isn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself". He says which causes me to tear up a bit more. Why is he looking out for me so much. I mean its probably his job, don't get a head of yourself.

(yall please bear with me because the next paragraph may be a bit cringy. Don't start hating it because of this lmao).

"but-.. If its okay. Can i ask why you are wanting to die so badly?" He says causing me to stop thinking and just freeze. He see's this and says, "oh- sorry. I really shouldn't of said that. I'm sorry". My face falls to my resting face and i just stare at the ground. "why should i tell you" i say completely letting it slip out. "w-well- uh. You don't have to-","I don't even know who you are" I say interrupting him. My eyes now finally looking at him. I try looking at him as if he is human but there is nobody that comes to mind when i picture somebody listening to me, rachel would be the only person but she's dead. I can only see you as a unknown creature. "y-...you're right... but-.. but is there a way i can help you?" he says. My eyes then go back to the ground and i try thinking of something but nothing comes to mind. "i'm sorry but.... i'm completely alone. I don't want anything. I have nothing..... I have-.. no one.. I have no reason left to live" I say accidently saying too much. Once i realise how much i've said, my eyes widen and i shoot up. "wait- really no one?" he says getting up with me. "goodbye spiderman. Thanks for saving me, but you don't have to if you want. A-and.. please don't tell anyone what i've told you" I say looking up at his big white eyes before opening the door. "wait-!" He says but i close the door on him. 

I look down at the ground and collapse on the ground, huddled up in my arms. Now wishing for a hug from spiderman. But i shouldn't want that, i don't even know him. After a few minutes of crying on the spot i pick myself up and head down to my apartment and enter my room before crashing on my bed and falling asleep.

Spiderman's POV

As the boy i've been saving opens the door and then slams it on me. I stand in the spot, my hand reaching for the door knob but i know i shouldn't open it. He is probably gone already. I just stay like that, waiting for anything. But then i sit down on the ground and think of how he said he has no one. I now know how to help him. Well help a little. I just have to wait for tomorrow. Then 10 minutes past and i enter the door. I return to my apartment, sneaking past aunt may and crashing on my bed.