Let me respawn (Discontinued)

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 4

Yn POV

I wake up and get ready for school. I leave my apartment and arrive at school after the 15 minute walk to it. I go to my locker and get what i need. I enter my classroom early and first, and sit in my usual spot, back right corner. As i wait for class to start, i think of ways to die.

I mean honestly my favourite way is jumping off the roof, but i only like doing it at night. So i might as well try a way during the day. But i would rather die at night falling off a roof then during the day doing what ever. So should i just do the roof thing. I mean i can but i'll probably get shut down by spiderman. But i told him to stop, well i said he can if he wants. But he wont since he's a hero... right? It seemed like he liked me before, so i think he will save me. He is kind to me and we've met a lot of times. So why wouldn't he keep saving me. I mean i don't want him to save me... do i? No of course not.... i think. But why would i want him to save me. I want to die. I think?. I have to die anyways, i only have enough money for a short while. So it doesn't matter. Why would i want to stop trying. I mean i defiantly don't want to stop trying, cause if i stop, spiderman wont see me anymore. Wait i mean why do i care. I don't want to meet him... right?-

I then get kicked out of my thoughts by somebody tapping my shoulder. I turn to the left to see peter. "hi" he says with a scared look in his eyes and clearly forced smile. Why is he looking like that. "uh hi" i say with a weak smile and questioning face. We then stare off into each other faces in a awkward silence. So what now... A few more seconds go by and i just scoff and turn back to my desk. What was that. Was that a dare, why did he look scared. Why was he forcing a conv?, did he actually wanna talk to me? Wait... he talked to me. Omg someone talked to me. Wait why do i care. Yeah it's whatevs.

I then feel another tap on my shoulder. I turn back to peter, he still has the same face. "uh, i'm peter" he says showing another clearly forced smile. "hi peter" i say with a confused look. "uhm... what's your name?!" he says letting that scared look die down, transitioning into a more star-struck look. Oh my lawd, this boy. Why is he talking to me. "um i'm yn" i say now genuinely curious why is he all of a sudden talking to me. We just sit there for a few more seconds of silence and i get enough of it.

"okay. Is there anything you wanna say to me, peter?" i say in a calming but hurry up and answer tone. "oh-uh i-. I just want to umm. ask if you have anyone to hangout with" he says speaking faster as he says the last bit. My eyes widen at the situation i am now in. I turn back to my desk and look straight down while collecting my thoughts.

No i don't, and why do you care. Why are you asking. Why are you talking to me. But i guess its not your fault, you don't know anything. Maybe you're just nice. I mean you're probably the only person who noticed me. And you've probably seen me alone each time you gazed at me. So i guess its fair. But maybe word it better. But how do i even answer. I can't say that i have no on-

"I'm only asking because i wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out with me at lunch" peter says, grabbing my attention and halting my thoughts. "well i mean me and my friends" he says correcting himself. "i-uh...." i don't give him a reply yet, i get lost in my mind. Should i. No defiantly not. Why should i make new connections, right when i'm planning to leave. It will just be hard for everyone. It would hurt them if i just die a day after meeting them. I cant do that, I cant have anymore restrictions. "um- i'm sorry... but i have to decline" i say as i see his eyes fall into a disappointed and hopeless look. "oh its- its okay" he says bringing back a smile and wiping the sad look off his face. The teacher then claps, gathering everyone's attention. Class then starts.

Me and peter don't talk for the rest of the class and when its over i quickly gather my things and rush out. As i packed up i saw peter observing me and i could tell he wanted to say something but he just didn't. The next lesson gets completed and then its lunch. I see no empty tables as i walk into the cafeteria so i decide to go to a familiar spot, Outside under a tree at the back of the field. As i navigate through the cafeteria i past peter and his two friends. He gives me a quick flashy smile with a nice wave, and i just weakly smile back and give him a little wave.