Kevin's
"You're a girl afterall."
I continued caressing her back, "Hindi lahat ng bagay, oras at panahon matapang ka/tayo." She cried out loud.
This is not the first time she cried with so many tears, when we were little she hug me and cried on my shirt. Then I'll pat her head at pinapamukha ko sakaniya yung mga bagay na mali niya. Then she'll cry and cry.
Ano namang masama pag nalaman mo ang mga mali mo sa iba? Atleast those people remind you na kahit anong gawin mo sa buhay, you're not a perfect copy of human. Hindi ka lang naka-gain ng personality, may natutunan ka pa. Pero nasa iyo parin kung gusto mo ba.
Hindi lang kasi dapat physical ang malakas. Emotional and spiritual too.
Mamaya tumila na rin ang pag kulog at kidlat. Humiwalay na rin siya sakin. Parehas nalang kaming napapasinghal.
"So kelan pa yan?" I asked
"Yung ano?"
"Astraphobia."
I stood up and turn the light's switch on,
"Since I was seven or eight old."
I sat on the bed without looking at her. "Pano?"
As long as I know hindi siya takot sa kidlat noon or kahit kulog pa.
"I almost got shocked. Nung naliligo ako ng ulan, may tumamang kidlat sa harap ko tapos sumunod na yung malakas na kulog. Then when I woke up, found myself inside a Hospital. Sabi nila nag-faint daw ako." She's shaking, clamping on her knees. "K-kaya simula..."
"Di ka na lumabas ng bahay niyo?"
"D-di naman, its just m-minsan nagkukulong lang ako ng Cabinet until they go away. I hate this..." she just cried. I knew pinipigilan niyang umiyak. Crying was not one of her descriptions.
I leaned closer and grabbed her shoulder, laid her head towards my neck and began slowly patting her back.
"Sorry, I wish we could go back to the past, I wish I'm there at that moment. I wish I hadn't leave you behind. I'm Sorry... Damn it."
Her arms wrapped me, "Firstly, it's not your fault. And top of that, I'm glad you're back." Her arms tighten.
Only God knows how much I missed her.
Until she fell asleep. I miss her eyes, her nose, her sleeping face.
Tinitignan ko lang siya habang natutulog.
I miss the way she sleep, I miss the way she was. God, I miss her.
My phone rang.
Pero deep in my heart and soul, I'm still stuck on her.
"Got some business with me, Dianne?"
"Kurt, babe. I'm sorry. I've already reflected what I did, j-just comback. I need you--"
"Don't ever call me babe again, It's disgusting. Tsaka alam mo, matagal na kitang napatawad, ang kasalanan mo lang ang hindi ko kayang tanggapin."
I ended it up.
Binagsak ko yung phone ko sa bed. Napayuko nalang ako sa mga sinabi ko.
I took a sight of my hands, my fingers we're shaking.
"Damn..." naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Nagpaka bulag ako masyado.
Akala ko ako yung naglalaro. But in the end she won.
I want to...
Kinuha ko ulit yung phone ko, makikinig nalang ako ng music. Sabi nila, music can calm a soul...
Pero Fuck... Nang-aasar lang.
"How can I move on, when I'm still in love with you?"
***
"Her Life"
By: StrawberryJamy
