the worst of the worst. [gravity falls fanfiction] WIP

Chapter 3

CONTENT WARNING: BLOOD, IMPLIED/GENERAL SELF H_RM AND ANXIETY/PANIC ATTACKS

a/n: hey! this chapter may be triggering for a few people and may make some people feel queasy,  so if that implies to you, I'd advise you to skip this (and maybe the next few) chapter(s).

Ford shakily inhaled and dropped the phone, frozen in shock.

How do you cope with loss?

Ford sunk down onto his knees and raked his hands through his hair, tears cascading down his cheeks as his face turned red from distress and mournfulness. He dropped his head into his hands, his tears dropping into a pile of dazzling water that reflected his struggle.

Ford barely had time to catch his breath and he ran out of the shack, his vision cloudy and blurred by his tears which wouldn't stop coming. He didn't know where he was going, but wherever it was, it would be dangerous, especially at this time of night. As he was running through the forest, his foot got caught under a stray tree root which resulted in him tumbling over onto the rough forest earth that sprayed all over his clothes and grazed his wounds.

He staggered to his feet, ignoring where his skin had been scraped off, subjected to a large stone. Ford continued rushing through the dark murky forest until he reached the highway. At first, he was blinded by all the loud noises and lights, but he quickly figured out why.

He's here somewhere, oh Stanley please don't leave me now! Ford begged for mercy silently as he rushed onto the road, which was perfectly safe as the highway had been closed due to this shocking incident.

please. the word echoed through his head as he made his way over, tears staining his face and clothes wet.

please..! The word echoed again, becoming more desperate. oh please please please be okay! Ford could feel his hope shattering inside of his heart and he got within reach of the crash. He held his breath- ignoring the orders from the police and ambulance as they called him to stay away and shook his shoulder- and rummaged through the wrecked car, noticing his brother's obliterated, blood-stained and lifeless body.

"STANLEY!" He yelled, tears swelling in his eyes again, despair built up inside him, more powerful than he had ever experienced before. Meanwhile, the services behind him remained silent, some frowning and others gasping with disbelief and sadness.

Ford grasped his brother's body and pulled him out of the wreckage, just now noticing how scarce his breathing was and how plenty wounds he had. His hushed weeping erupted into stages of grief. He shook Stanley's body, begging for him to wake up. Stanford turned round to face the services, "Help him! Please, oh please! I'm begging you!" The rest of his sentence was lost to his sobs. The paramedics nervously rubbed the backs of their necks, they had been too engrossed in the scene that they had forgotten their job.

The paramedics swiftly took Stanford's twin brothers body and rushed him into the ambulance, leaving Ford behind before he could say anything. Ford blinked in disbelief, WHAT?  he was appalled by the emergency services behaviour, he quickly spun round to the police. "Please let me know what happens." He frowned before rushing off back into the forest, feelings of desolation overpowering him.

*****

Stanford awoke, surprised to find himself on the floor of the mystery shack gift shop. He felt around for his glasses and picked them up by the lenses, slipping them on as he stumbled to his feet. He assumed that he must've been so tired and worn out from yesterday that his body couldn't spare an inch more of energy to keep him conscious.

He held a hand up to his forehead groggily and headed to the kitchen, assuming that the twins were still asleep.

"Hey, Great Uncle Ford!" called Dipper.

Ford blinked, slightly startled as he spun round to meet Dipper's gaze, "Yes Dipper?"

"Have you seen Grunkle Stan?"

Ford froze, stress and misery coming to power again. He inhaled sharply and started to hyperventilate, falling to his knees harshly. Dipper frowned and stepped back in shock, "Grunkle Ford are you okay?" Stanford gazed absently at nothing, unaware of everything but his thoughts. His breathing got heavier and tears started to swell in his eyes.

it's your fault, he heard a voice whisper.

"No..." He denied.

it's your fault that your brother died, yours.

You didn't persuade him well enough, pushed him away for years and yet you mourn for him?

"I-its only natural!" Ford yelled aloud.

Oh hush, brainiac.

Ford stiffened, repeating the word over and over again in his head out of shock. He raked his hands against his sideburns, eyes wide with fear and tears plummeted down his face.

brainiac? brainiac... brainiac.. brainiac brainiac brainiac brainiac brainiac... brainiac brainiac brainiac brainiacbrainiacbrainiac... it's your fault, you killed him, you left him for dead... it's your fault... you killed your own brother? you're a waste of space. nobody likes you, six-fingered freak, nerd, freak.. sixer, brainiac, fordsy, poindexter...

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" He screamed eyes clamped shut. Ford bashed his thighs with a clenched fist, tears plummeting down his face like a waterfall. Dipper jumped back, startled and rushed to go get Mabel from upstairs. Stanford shakily withdrew a breath despite all the tears and rushed to a kitchen drawer. He grabbed a knife and rushed out of the shack, still sobbing as the words haunted him.

you killed him, you killed Stanley. You're a disappointment, a failure, a fraud, a freak, a nerd, a criminal, an idiot, a betrayer, an outcast, your abnormal, strange, stupid, dumb.

"I DIDN'T, LEAVE ME ALONE!" He yelled out as he trekked through the forest with a swift pace, his voice was hoarse with pain now and his nose was clogged. His eyes produced more tears than you could ever imagine.

He darted through the forest as far and as fast as his legs could carry him. He trembled with fear and skidded to a halt. Ford held his breath, parting a bush apart so he could enter the clearing. Stanford heavily respired, frowning as tears silently ran down his face. He sniffled and trudged towards the statue.

Is this really the only option..? do I want my brother back that badly?

Ford shook his head, what a pathetic thought, of course he did. He slowly approached the statue of the infamous Bill Cipher, slipping the knife out from his pocket. He dropped down onto his knees, holding out his left hand over the hand of the statue. This is the only way, He reminded himself. Ford hesitated before slicing the palm of his left hand, screaming with agony as blood swelled at the brim of the wound and poured down onto the statue, staining the stone.

He shivered, tears streaming down his face as he curled inwards on himself, as he tugged his arms around his waist. His left hand dripped with the crimson liquid, which proceeded to stain all of his clothes.

The statue grew bright and enveloped the surrounding area with a bright, white light. Stanford flinched as a large crack echoed around the forest, followed by a ringing noise. He held his hands to his ears, clamping his eyes shut until the sound died away. He hesitantly opened an eye, scrambling onto his feet.

The statue had vanished...