the worst of the worst. [gravity falls fanfiction] WIP

Chapter 1

Dipper Pines awoke, rubbing his eyes with his fingers sleepily.  The bed across the room from him wasn't occupied, so he assumed that his sister had already gone downstairs. Dipper held a hand to his mouth and yawned into it, scrambling out of bed to head downstairs. He walked down the stairs, being greeted with loud, upbeat voices.

"..and then booyah!" a voice called out, seemingly ecstatic.

Another voice laughed, quite hoarse, but friendly.

Dipper walked into the kitchen, now seeing his relatives, Mabel, his twin sister who was standing on the table holding a box of 'smeerio's' with the contents scattered on the table and floor, and Stanley Pines, one of his great uncles.

"Oh hey, dipper! There you are, I thought you'd fallen asleep forever!" Mabel grinned, hopping down from the table to greet her brother. "Yeah I was just-" He clicked his back and stretched, "tired." he finished, glancing over to Stan who was staring uncertainly at the table. "Say uh, what happened here while I was asleep?" Dipper asked nonchalantly.

"Your sister went all 'coo-coo banana's'-" He gestured with his hands, "and started pretending to be a superhero, which in retrospect, was hilarious." Grunkle Stan objected, unseating himself from the chair to address him. Dipper smiled, beaming. He really appreciated his relatives, despite how chaotic they could be sometimes. 

Suddenly, a person walked up behind Dipper and paused at the doorframe. He groaned, rubbing his eyes from under his glasses, "Stanley, how many times have I told you not to let the twins wreck the kitchen?" He asked, walking over to address his brother.

"Oh here we go again, can't we just let them have a bit of fun for once, huh sixer?" Stanley asked, eyes narrowed and posture slumped.

Ford facepalmed himself, "Well sure they can, just-" He trailed off, gesturing with his hands to the mess, "don't let them do this."

Stan inhaled sharply and held two fingers to his mouth, pointing them downwards once exhaling, "Oh sure, you're just jealous that I'm a better caretaker than you." He suddenly spurted out.

Ford's eyes widened, appalled as if he couldn't believe his ears. "Right, okay." He shook his head, pacing back and forth, "I don't think that's true, Stanley." He said quickly and truthfully.

Mabel and Dipper looked at each other and shrugged, dismissing themselves from the room.

"Not true?! You're insane Ford..!" Stanley said, his voice trailing off as Mabel and Dipper got out of earshot.

"Phew-ee!" Mabel gasped, relieved, "Sometimes is exhausting to hear those two fight." She said once they both made it upstairs into their room, exasperated.

"You can say that again," Dipper said, leaping onto his bed. Meanwhile, downstairs, the other set of twins still argued. "Say," Began Mabel, a sneaky grin slipping onto her face, "What if we scare them into protecting each other so they don't argue ever again?" Dipper looked up from Journal 3, which was open wide on his bed. "Mabel, I'm not sure that's such a good idea, I mean, don't you remember last time?"

"Water under the bridge!" She dismissed Dipper's statement, flapping her hand. Mabel got up and began gathering a couple few hundred items together. Dipper sighed hesitantly and stood up, "Okay, so what are we doing this time?" He gave in to Mabel's plan, dragging the heavy book off of the bed with him.

"Okay okay so, basically- you're going to find a super-duper scary monster, okay? and then- we'll bring it back into a clearing in the forest and set up the trap, like last time!" Mabel said, beaming. She could imagine the plan going as she pleased, and intended it to go that way.

"Sure, like last time." 

"Well, what're you waiting for dipdop? Go catch that beast!" Mabel grinned, shoving another journal into his hands along with a burlap sack, a satchel, a pen and a notebook. Dipper looked at the items he'd been handed then back up at Mabel. He saluted heartily and chuckled, rushing out of the room.

Meanwhile, Ford grunted out of frustration, "Stanley, they fell into a bottomless pit because of you." He pointed out for nearly the tenth time, raking his hands through his hair.

"It wasn't entirely my fault!" Stan objected, "Meanwhile you've gotten them in more than enough trouble."

Ford rolled his eyes, "Right, sure I have." He said with a heavily sarcastic tone.

Stanley scowled and mumbled something under his breath, shoving Ford aside as he stormed out of the shack.

"Gee, what's his problem?" Ford muttered, beginning to clean up the kitchen. Mabel suddenly appeared in the doorway, "Need any help with that Great Uncle Ford? I mean, I am the one who caused it." She giggled nervously. "Please," Ford replied, heaving a reluctant sigh as the two of them cleaned up the mess.

"Hot Belgium waffles!" Stanley shrieked from outside. Ford and Mabel exchanged glances at each other, "I'll go check, stay here Mabel." Ford straightened, headed for his brother. When he reached the porch of the Mystery Shack, his eyes widened. Stan backed away beside Ford and frowned. In front of them stood a 10-foot tall vampire bat, one much larger than the ones shown in Ford's Journals. 

Stanford narrowed his eyes, rushing inside and later appearing with some sort of gun, which in reality, was a launcher that had a weighted net in it. He inhaled sharply and climbed atop the roof of the shack, pulling the trigger on the launcher as he jumped after it. The large net clamped around the creature, fastening it to the ground as he landed on top of it.

"Right, he doesn't miss a chance to show off, does he?" He heard his brother murmur under his breath as he was within earshot, but Ford simply ignored it and pulled out a device with shrinking and enlargening properties, the same one his grandniece and nephew had used earlier in the summer.

Ford shrunk the bat down and almost in an instant, it fluttered off like a mosquito, its wings creating a whirring, buzzing sound that soon faded. He gathered up the net and stuffed it back inside of the gun-like machine that he had invented a couple hundred years ago. 

Stanley stood behind him and locked eyes with his brother as soon as Ford turned around. "What?" Ford asked, one brow raised.

"Nothing." He muttered, walking back inside. Clearly, he was in a bad mood for whatever reason. Stanford shrugged and swung away from the door, slightly startled as Dipper stood in front of him.

"Sorry Grunkle Ford!" He apologised immediately, for two reasons.

"Listen kid, Stans just not in a good mood today, I don't think it's a good idea to pull off one of your plans." He said, resting a hand on Dippers shoulder as he got down to his level. Dipper frowned, guilty. "I know, it's just- I and Mabel always hear you both arguing and it's getting exhausting." He confessed.

"Ah, don't worry about it kiddo, just sibling bickering- y'know?" He smiled slightly and winked. Dipper's mood lightened and he started to head inside. "Oh, and Dipper?" Ford called out after him.

"Yeah?"

"Tell Mabel not to set up another one of her nefarious 'plans' please?"

"You've got it Great Uncle Ford!" He grinned, disappearing into the depths of the shack.