Toss A Coin {Lu Keran x Lin Fan}

Prologue

Determinism. A philosophical concept wherein people believe that all events, even choices, are completely determined by previously existing causes. In a way, it is like believing that the universe is the one making choices for us. Eliminating the concept of freewill and assuming it as illusory.

In the eyes of a determinist, everything is predictable. Nothing was ever made random. And there's always a reason for whatever happens. Reasons that we might or might not be aware of. But it's there and existing; forces that makes us act and sometimes, decides for us. For not every time, we know what we're doing and we end up relying on the decision that life will make for us.

And honestly, it's not always because we cannot make a decision. Maybe we already did and are just too scared to say it.

~

"Look at them act all sappy, Fanfan. Disgusting." She said, her face scrunching up in distaste as the two of them stared out the field.

"It's not their fault you're unlucky at love, Keke." Lin Fan answered her, pink lips wide in a smile as she stared at her best friend. Not bothering to look back at the couples on the field.

Keran turned to her, the scowl disappearing from her face and being replaced by a fond stare as she rolled her eyes. "You aren't one to talk. You, too, never had a girlfriend or boyfriend, or even a date."

"Then maybe that's why we're best friends... we're both unlucky at love." Lin Fan mumbled under her breath, cheeks a rosy pink as she looked away from Keran's sharp eyes.
"Hmm, maybe..." Keran agreed softly before she also looked away.

It was silent between them. Yet in their minds, it was loud with thoughts. Lin Fan was never really bothered that she hasn't been with anyone yet. Not even out on a date at the age of nineteen. She was, and is fine with it. She never really felt the need to do it because she never really felt alone. She has Keran by her side.

Keran who is ahead at twenty-two. She was the same. Sure, she had dates before. But they were always headed for the downhill. It was hard to find someone who could understand her passiveness and cold demeanor. No one ever really understood her like Lin Fan does.

She clearly remembers the day they became friends. They haven't been friends all their lives. But long enough to know each other like the back of their hands. Seven years had passed since Keran came to school late and was given the task of touring the new student around. Lin Fan.

Lin Fan who managed to break through her walls and façade with her child-like smiles and laughter. And then the rest was history.

"Hopefully we won't grow old alone..." Lin Fan mumbled lowly and trailed off in thought. "Or maybe it won't be so bad with cats." She nodded to herself, seemingly not aware that she's saying these things out loud.

Keran looked at Lin Fan, watching as her hair was tousled by the wind. Keran felt fond. But she couldn't help but agree to Lin Fan's words. No one wants to grow all alone. But at this state, it is slowly clearing that they really might grow old alone.

"We won't be lonely because we'll have each other, Fanfan. How could you forget that?" She reminded, capturing Lin Fan's attention and making her look at her.

"No, of course not. But it's different. You're my best friend, I'm your best friend." Lin Fan was quick to deny. Words leaving her lips in a failed attempt to explain her point.

"And so? How is that so different?" Keran's brows rose, a glimmer of disappointment flashing in her eyes.

A sigh left Lin Fan's lips and her face turned a faint shade of pink as she met Keran's eyes. "Don't you wish for a lover instead?" She bit her lips as she waited for Keran's reply.