Do you miss me? (Frerard)

'Cause I miss you.

His body ached; as did his head.

Doubled over the toilet, weak from lack of food, his hands shook at the cold touch of the bathroom tiles he had known since a child moving into this very same house that he would make memories, not only with his family, but with him in.

And the thought of that boy only brought more bile up his throat. The third time he had thrown up since waking up. Though, this was due to alcohol because Gerard needed to forget and what better way to forget than to push it out with his mum's 'well hidden' alcohol?

Though, no matter how hard he tried - he could never forget that same boy that had left his house two days ago and not returned yet since.

That was what normally happened with Gerard. The very moment he gets closed with someone, he pushs them away almost instantly and come to think of it, that's probably why he pushed Mikey away, because he never wanted to hurt Mikey not matter how much Mikey had screamed at him that this only had hurt him more - Gerard refused to believe him.

And thinking of Mikey had only caused yet more alchahol to rush back up his throat and into the toilet bowl.

The fourth time, now.

Gerard longed to relive the days where he had him, Frank. And that was the first time he was aloud to think of his name, because it only further upset him and there was no longer a melodramatic air clouding around him, but a depressing one. One that made him lightheaded and dizzy. Sad and cold.

Gerard really did want those days with him back. The memories were bliss, happy, and oblivious to how things would soon turn out.

Gerard also wanted the days back where he and Mikey were as close as ever and they traded CD's. Gerard even missed the mindless arguements he and Mikey would have before Gerard basically disinegrated into a cloud of depression pills and anxieties.

Before their parents were throwing insults at eachother, before they had to help support their forever cying mum, before they witnessed the unique pain in each others eyes that you shouldn't see in another's and even before snow days were just snow days.

Because their family would never be the same again, nor would they and Gerard knew that and he had to protect Mikey from that -from the truth- because they would never be the same again, not until they were to find a piece of happiness to hold.

Gerard has found that happiness.

For a while, he had. But, as always, everything had to end, and really, Gerard didn't want it to be like that; he didn't. Though, you can't choose how your life goes, no, your enviroment will shape it for you and enviroment has shaped for that happiness to be quickly torn from between his fingers.

Call him dramatic, but that is how things had seemed lately.

Gerard almost thought there was going to be a fifth time before there was a knock at the door.

A quick four knocks, quiet and all too cautious. They reminded him of Frank, but lately everything reminded Gerard of Frank so he shouldn't be surprised. And he wasn't - not until a farmiliar voice came from the other side.

"Gerard."

He couldn't speak - there were no words for him to even whisper.

"I miss you, Gee." Gerard heard Frank's voice crack at his nickname they had given him when they first met, in the summer.

And Gerard couldn't help but to remember the smile on that day and he quickly it faded when they left. He remembered his tears when he left. His words. The way his hair looked under the hood from his jacket, drenched by rain. He remembered it all from that day, and that's what the alchohol was for.

"I- I'm sorry. I didn't want that to be the last time we talked."

Gerard coudn't lift himself from the ground, nor could he talk. Instead, he shuffled over to the door; leaning back against it, like many times before.

"Can you talk, please?"

Silence.

"Can I come in?" Gerard heard the desperate cry in his voice, there was still silence.

"Why not?"

"Because, Frank, I miss you. Like crazy, but I can't face you."

Gerard broke.

Breaking out into a sob, he thought he was going to throw up again.

"Gerard, I love you. I love you so much, Gerard."

And it wasn't until after,

That Gerard come to remember,

Frank died after that fight they had, looking just like Gerard, just another bathroom.

"I love you too."

And for the fifth time today, Gerard threw up.

-

Inspired by life events of other people.