Space Of Uncertainty (Glorious Series #1)

Chapter 1

Background

Change is inevitable and constant they say so I've always hated how people change, whether it's the attitude, appearance or emotions. They change too constant in just a little time, I can't cope up and dealing with it for me was the hardest. So I started to hate change, either the word itself or the things that comes with it- the inconsistency and the uncertainty it brings.

Pero, di mo naman ito maiiwasan habang buhay especially when people around me wanted to change too, unexpectedly. I hated it at first but because I love them, I learned to accept those changes wholly. Na sa huli, ang isang pagbabagong na tinanggap ko ng buong-buo ay ang syang magbibigay ng pasakit sa buhay ko.

Bunso ako sa tatlong magkakapatid. Panganay ay ang kuya ko- achiever sa lahat ng larangan kaya proud ang mga magulang ko sa kanya especially my dad. He would always tell everyone that my Kuya is just like him and would become one of the best in the future. He would brag about his achievements everytime he introduces him to his friends and colleagues. All smiles and looking so proud as he tapped my brother's shoulder. He is like that because he is my son, I am his father.

Sunod ay ang ate kong palaging suki bilang muse ng section at pambato sa beauty pageants dahil doon, proud na naman ang parents ko sa kanya lalo na si mommy. They would attend so many social gatherings just so she could get compliments for her out of this world beauty. My mom by her side laughing as they humbly try to deny such flattery words. She got her beauty because her mother's beautiful too, they would say after, leaving my mom so happy again as she got the validation she wanted. She is my daughter and I am her mother.

While me, I don't excel in class with my mediocre grades nor have beauty considered to be called a goddess. My parents wouldn't acknowledge my presence because I am nothing, as they always say. Because I am not pretty nor intelligent. I am not worthy to be called the daughter of such smart and beautiful people.

Bakit di ka kagaya ng kuya mong kulang na lang maccelerate? Or bakit di ka man lang maging maganda tulad ng ate mo? Well, mom and dad di kasi ako katulad nila.

They stopped communicating or talking to me, the more I tried to prove myself to them but they wouldn't look my way. I drifted away and washed away with time. They've forsaken me the chance without any valid reason at all.

Am I not their family just because I am like this? Am I not qualified to be called their daughter just because I don't meet their so called standards?

Life isn't always sunny. Sometimes there would be a little drizzle, a spring rain or a strong storm. But after that, there would be a rainbow at the end and it would be sunny again. Life is full of challenges and hardships but along the way this would give us the strength to carry on and keep on surviving.

I keep on waiting for that warmth to come to my life. For the time when the sun would finally shine in my life to get out of this darkness and coldness I am in right now. When will it come? Is it today? Or is it tomorrow? Maybe just a little more time, just a little more, everyday I whispered. I waited and waited until so much time passed. Maybe just like my parents, the sun forgot about me.

Things I have always hoped and prayed for would never be mine even if I keep on trying. So, I finally realized. Don't risk everything for something so uncertain. Don't put your trust and time to someone who wouldn't reciprocate the same to you.

I decided not to pay anymore attention to my parents who wouldn't even try to spend some time with me. My life just consist of me surviving life by myself. Celebrating every milestones alone, smiling with tears in my eyes.

"Happy birthday, Raja~"

I turned around and saw two person singing, one holding a cake and the other with balloons. They were both smiling and waved as they happily run towards my direction. I smiled as I thought, finally I am not alone. I wiped the stubborn tears away as I waved back.

They both sang the birthday song with the both of them grinning widely. When they were done, I blew out the candle and they immediately clapped. They even wiped some icing on my face which earned a loud laugh to the three of us.

"What's your wish, Raja?" CC asked, my girl bestfriend.

"Hey, you shouldn't ask about that. Dapat daw secret yun sabi nila mom!" pigil ni Ian, the only guy in our circle.

As they both looked at me so happily, I whispered a silent wish in the air. Don't take them away from me, they are the only ones I have. I hope to be happy with them for a long, long time.

"This is Toby James Madrigal, your fiancé." I looked at my father shocked. Two men were beside him, one looked older like my dad's age range and the other one seems to be my age or few years older.

So this is why for the first time they invited me to some event. Akala ko finally naalala nilang may bunso pa silang anak. Why did I even bother to get touched when they have ulterior motive? I hate change right? My parents won't change so casually and unexpectedly.

"Is this your daughter? She looks beautiful as the rumors I hear." The older guy smiled at me, never know it was genuine or not. "What's your name, hija?"

Yep, confirmed. Fake pleasantries. Maganda daw ako base sa naririnig pero di ako kilala? Naglolokohan ba tayo dito? I smiled fakely and was going to say my name when the other spoke.

"Rayla Jade Benitez, my fiancée." One side of my lips curled upward to smirk at him. He held out his hand probably for a shake when I just looked at him. So he did his research huh? Such effort just for this?

He looked so serious with his thick brows almost touching in the middle of his forehead. His thin lips in a straight line made him look more grumpy. So snobbish that one hand of his is inside his pocket. Didn't know someone this rude?

"My hand is waiting, Raja." I stiffened when suddenly he called me that. He might have noticed it as his lips moved to form a small smile. I grabbed his hand and gave him a hard squeeze. He seemed shock with my grip strength because I successfully wiped his smile on his face, before letting go with a triumphant smile. Jerk.

This guy, fiancé or what, I hate his guts, his face, his voice, everything. I hate him. But when I saw how my dad smiled at me as I am beside him, I felt that maybe finally, I can be the daughter he can be proud of. Because being engaged to him made my dad noticed me after all this time.

I smiled to myself as I thought, this guy, changed my status within my family just by being his fiancée and for the first time, I liked this kind of change.