Missed By A Mile | ✓

e3 | juniper

The first time Juni got into a relationship, they were seventeen.

It was with a guy in their Art History class. His name was Micah, and he was sweet—and respectful, and patient, and funny—with just enough spunk in him that the two of them never shared a single dull moment.

And wow, Juni had thought, This isn't any different from having a very close friend. Who would have thought?

Minus the kissing, obviously. A lot of it. And the sex. Not that it was their first time, but back then, they told themself that it was different with someone they liked. Someone they were in a relationship with. It was supposed to be.

And, well... things between them were... good. Really good. Juni didn't have high hopes, considering that they never had any examples of good relationships around them growing up. But Micah was... nice. Being around him felt nice. Being with him felt nice. And so six months passed in the blink of an eye.

And that's when Sean and Atlas started dating.

Shy, awkward, stuttery-around-each-other Sean and Atlas... started dating. Juni was happy, of course. They were over the moon, honestly. Because watching their two best friends pining after each other for years wasn't the most pleasant feeling in the world.

Seeing the two of them together was a breath of fresh air.

They were disgustingly in love. And as much as Juni liked to tease them for it, the sight of the two of them together radiated pure warmth. It was there in the long gazes they shared in the midst of conversations, in the way Atlas would always be touching Sean in one way or the other like being away from his boyfriend for one second would cause blisters on his skin, in the way Atlas would throw his head back laughing so hard that Sean would always have to stand close to him, 'Just in case he falls', Sean would say.

What a liar. He had always been a complete goner for Atlas. He couldn't have kept himself away even if he tried.

They really were in love, and it showed.

Juni doesn't think it showed between them and Micah.

They broke up before their seventh month was over, because Micah told them that he loved them, and with a foreign kind of pounding in their chest, they realized that they didn't feel the same way at all.

Wrong person? they wondered, and eventually settled with that a week later.

A lot of people after him came and left.

Juni didn't love any of them.

The first time Juni realized that they couldn't pursue a romantic relationship with anyone, they were nineteen.

It made them wonder if they were simply incapable of that; after growing up in a space that never taught them how to love people. The fact that they were very closely attached to physical intimacy made things worse. Wanting to be close to people without the concept of romance tainting the space between them made them feel... selfish. Like they were asking for too much without offering anything in return.

And that's when they met Ved and Layla.

Layla; unashamedly herself, wild, and free. Watching her effortlessly go out and come back with a new boy following hot on her heels every other week was... an experience. None of them ever saw the men again after they left her room, of course. Juni thought it was really admirable that she embraced her sexuality like that. That she made it look so easy.

And Ved... God, Juni didn't know he was going to change their entire perception of how human relationships worked. He was blunt, he loved people with his entire heart held out on his palm, and he was afraid of nothing.