The Poet

5

Giana

Welcome to a new week where anything and everything could go wrong. It's Monday, and my morning has been absolute crap so far. On a normal day, I'd do my usual routine, wake up, wash, gym, wash, therapy, breakfast, housework, and then class until my shift starts at the restaurant. IT IS ONLY 8 IN THE DAMN MORNING, AND I AM ALREADY LOSING MY SHIT! First, I woke up late, which I never do. Second, I broke my glasses, couldn't find my contacts to save my life, and when I did, they were dried out! I groaned and internally cursed myself as I calmly called my therapist to let her know I needed to reschedule. Want to know how that went? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY TERRIBLE! My therapist wasn't available for the day I rescheduled for. I took the first available one for the end of the week and let that be. I had another mini-meltdown then I realized I was almost late for class. I log into my class zoom, and what do I see? Nobody. Nobody and nothing! I texted my classmate Jen, and she said the class had ended. Meltdown number 3 ensues as she says our professor sent an email saying that today was a classwork option day since our projects are due earlier than expected. As I frantically look through my emails, panic begins to build. I leave the zoom and read the informational email outlining the last two weeks of my semester. I close my computer and sit it on the bedside table as I lay down and scream. I cry and scream and kick and roll around in my bed until I feel better. I haven't thrown a tantrum in over fifteen years, but here I am in all my painful glory.

I lay under my big fluffy blanket and cry as the pieces of my life slowly fall apart. My phone rings, and I'm honestly afraid to answer it. I look at the screen and see it's my mom FaceTiming me. "Hey, Brian! What's up?" I ask my mom's boyfriend. "Uh, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your mom is in the hospital." He says with tears threatening to spill over his eyelids. I sit in shock, not knowing what to say and fearing the worst. "What happened?" I ask. "She was driving home from working a double last night, fell asleep at the wheel, and hit something." He says, scratching his head. Tears slide down my face as I think about all of the information given to me. "Where are the twins?" I ask. He looks around and then back at the phone and says, "Well, your mom told me that if anything happened to her to call you so you can come and get them. I guess she told them the same because they immediately started packing their bags last night." I stopped crying, and now I'm hella confused. "And what in the hell am I supposed to do with them?" I say, a bit angry. He shrugs and then says he has to see if she's okay, and he's going to keep me posted. We hang up, and I go and make myself breakfast so I can at least start my day over—wrong idea. I burn my food, burn myself, break a plate, break a glass, and the cherry on top almost caught my robe on fire. I stomp out of the kitchen and get dressed because cooking food isn't an option!

After getting dressed, I grab my keys and coat and head out the door. As I'm coming out of my place and locking up, I see none other than Rafael, and he was with some chick. He had his back turned, but I could hear them kissing, and it was puke-worthy. "FUCKING GROSS!" I yell involuntarily as I storm off down the stairs and outside. I walk down the street to a taco truck and get a burrito. This saved my day in more ways than one. I buy one for the road and head back to my apartment. I check my pockets for my house key as I approach my door. "ARE YOU KIDDING?! FUCK!" I say, hitting my door. I calm down and retrace my steps when Rafael walks out of his place. "Lost your key?" He asked, cutting a slice of apple and eating it off the knife. "Yeah. It looks like I did." I say angrily. He chuckles and walks over to me, placing my lanyard with my house and car keys in my hand. "You left them in the door, sweetheart." He says, walking away. "Who was she?" I ask abruptly and immediately regretting it. He stands in his doorway and exhales loudly. "I'll bring some tea over in like ten minutes. You look like you need a break." He says as he closes his door. I walk into my apartment and look around—so much mess. I set everything down and turned on my music. I clean everything from top to bottom and Sage while airing my place. Saying positive affirmations and prayers, hoping for better news and a clear understanding of what the fuck is going on right now. I texted Bryan for updates, and he said he was with the boys trying to figure stuff out. My mom is in ICU now, and I want to go back home to hug her. Fuck man! I finish my text to the boys and grab some water from the fridge. I go and grab my journal and start writing.