The Poet

11

Giana -  Last day of senior year

This is it! My last year in college! I know. "Three years have gone by. What happened?" Well, I'll tell you what happened! Rafael and I tried to date for a year but broke up because of his work schedule and my school schedule. It wasn't a terrible breakup at all, and we still talk and hang out when he's in town, but for the most part, he and I are keeping it friendly. We wrote a song together called Lavender and Honey, and my professor loved it. I aced my final, and I am graduating with high honors. I'm working in LA as an audio engineer apprentice, and I opened a high-end barbershop in Santa Barbara, and business has been booming! Christian and Tristan are playing baseball this season and have started their sophomore year in college. I'm so proud of them for doing what they love, and I am even more proud that they're having fun doing it. It is noon on a Saturday, and the shop buzzes about anything. "Ayo G! Your man is on TV!" Bruno, a barber at my shop, says, pointing at our flat screen. I look over and smile, seeing Rafael on tv talking about his new movie and album coming out. "So Rafael, tell us about the song Lavender and Honey." The interviewer said with a smile. "Well, that song started as a poem for someone special, then it turned into an assignment for said special someone, congrats on graduating little lady, and with her permission, we thought the world would have liked to hear how Rafael fell in love." He said, smiling and blushing. Everyone in the shop started cheering, knowing he was talking about the song, congratulating me on graduating from college. My next appointment was Mario, and he came in right as I was setting up. "Hey, sis! Here, these are for you." He says, pointing at all the guys bringing in roses and balloons. I blush and laugh and immediately start to scream when I see Rafael walk in with a huge teddy bear. "OMG! RA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I say between sobs. I jumped on him when he put the bear down and kept crying and not wanting to let go.  "I flew in before my flight to New York to say hello and see the shop. Rio has been talking about it nonstop." He says, putting me down. I grab all of the stuff, put it to the side, and start on Mario's cut. "Alright, Rio, how do you want your hair today?" I ask him as I fluff out his curls. "Like ole boy Anthony Ramos when he was Mars Blackmon. The braids with the fade joint from like season 1 episode 6." He says, showing me pictures. "My man. That was mad specific." BK says as he finishes his last cut. Everyone laughs, and I get to work on his hair. After I finished with baby Ramos, I closed my books and left for the day to relax with Rafael. To my surprise, we went back to my place, and my brothers were home.

"RAFA!!!!" They yelled, running up and hugging him. "How long are you here for?" Tris asked. "The weekend, and then I'm headed to New York to work. How are you guys? What's been up?" He asks. They fall into conversation about school and tell him about their girl problems. I go inside and make food for everyone. I went with chicken parm tonight for dinner and decided to make smores cake mix cookies since the twins have been dying for them. Rafael and the twins come inside and wash up. I give the twins a twenty-minute warning to be seated, and Rafael helps set the table. "So I'm here until Tuesday, leave Wednesday morning, and be back in two weeks." He says, eating an apple and watching me cook. I nod and sing along to Green and Blue by Jennah Bell.

Once everything was done, I started plating food and grabbed the cookies from the oven. I set the extras on the table and moved as if I were still alone. "You are so graceful in the kitchen. Truly like a mother." Rafael says. I smile at the thought of being a mother to my children. "Maybe one day I will be," I say, winking at him. I call the boys down for dinner, and we all pray and eat. We talk about our week, and Rafael tells us about his work life and how set life is. Aside from sports, Christian loves filmmaking. He said he wants to be a creative director if pro ball isn't an option, and Tristan loves music and journalism. He wants to be on MTV and all that good stuff.

After dinner and cookies, I went to shower and get ready for bed. Rafael and I haven't been near each other physically in about two years, so having him in my bedroom sends shivers through my body. He's sitting on my couch texting when I get out of the shower, so I go to my vanity and braid my hair. After I finish, I walk over to my still texting best friend and straddle him. "Is this a new set?" He asks, looking at the teddy I have on. I nod and give him two quick pecks on the lips.

Not enough. His hands roam my body but then he abruptly stops. "I'm sorry, G. I can't." He says with his head on my chest. I close my robe and go to my closet for PJs. "How long have you been seeing her?" I ask, sitting on my bed. He thinks for a second and then scratches the back of his head. "We started building our friendship about seven months after you and I broke up and made it a legit thing a year and a half ago." He says. "Wow. A year and some change. Congrats, Ra, that's huge." I say, breaking down just a bit. I knew he would start seeing someone at some point, but then there was another part of me that was hoping he'd give us another chance. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything before." He says, and I wave him off. "No! No, it is fine. I shouldn't have just assumed you were single." I say, wrapping my pillow around my body. I feel so exposed around him now, and I don't understand why. "So, have you told the guys?" I ask. "No, not at all. They wouldn't be too happy." He says. "I'm sure they would be!" I say with a slight smile. We go silent for a beat, thinking of what to say to each other or even do. "So you said that stuff on tv and came here for what? To tell me that you're unavailable but appreciate my friendship?" I ask, trying to keep my attitude in check. "To be honest with you, I'm not sure why I came here. I mean I did want to see the shop and I see you're well so." He says, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back against the couch. I get out of bed and walk downstairs to the kitchen. A glass of water sounds lovely right about now, but my hands grabbed the vodka instead. "I'm sorry for just now saying something. I didn't know how to bring it up." Rafael says, taking the bottle from me. "Oh, I don't know maybe 'Oh hey G, by the way, I'm in a relationship, so I can't FUCK YOU!'" I say, now starting to get angry and grabbing my bottle back. We play a give-and-take game until I give up and attempt to storm off. He grabs my hand and pulls me into him.
I don't want to fight him, but I have to. I feel played and betrayed. "You didn't even have the decency to tell me as a friend!" I yell, pushing away from him. Tears flooded my eyes, and all I could do was drop to my knees. "I love you, Rafael. This isn't an ideal time, but I've always said it, and I've always meant it. This shit fucking hurts, yo." I say, spreading out on the floor. He does the same next to me and holds my hand. "I love you too, G." We stare at the ceiling, and I let the tears stream down my face. Remembering all the fun times and trying to keep away the bad times. I fell for him, and he let me fall without judgment. "Now what?" I say, wiping my face. "I'm not sure." He sighs and hums our song, and I join in a little bit after with a smooth harmony and tears falling like the rain that's beating down on the roof outside. What are we going to do?