Colby Brock Centric Oneshots

Hunger P1

Warning~ triggering content

He wasn't sure when he began to care so much. But at some point, his view of himself had completely changed.

He'd never viewed himself as skinny per say but he also had never viewed himself as unhealthy. Considering he managed to fit working out in his routine every day he could only hope that he wasn't unhealthy. So he liked to think of himself as being in the middle neither fat nor skinny.

He made sure to always watch what he ate, work out, and try and get a decent amount of sleep. So his size had never really bothered him until eventually, it did.

At some point, he'd started subconsciously comparing himself to others. To the point where he couldn't even look in the mirror without pointing out all his flaws, all the places where he saw practically nonexistent fat. Those were the days where he would stare at his reflection with red-rimmed eyes as sobs wracked his small frame. A slender hand covering his mouth in a small attempt to stifle his own sobs as piercing blue eyes drowned in self-hatred.

And when it all became too much he'd slowly sink to the floor of the bathroom and revel in the image he so dearly wanted to be. The thin stomach with a small ribcage, slender arms, prominent jawline with long legs that gave the illusion that they were never-ending. He strived to meet those standards and in truth, they weren't realistic.

That didn't stop him from trying though. The days spent observing his figure in hatred seemed to become more common. And there were times where he would go into Instagram just to look at models that were evreything he wasn't. It was exhausting and at times he just wanted to laugh at how pathetic it all seemed. And sure he realized that this wasn't normal but he didn't really know who to talk to about this.

Whatever this was that he was even struggling with wasn't something people usually prioritized when it came to men. He was a grown adult and when he came down to it he didn't want any of his friends judging him for this.

So he stayed silent even as the self-loathing of his body became worse. His admiration of those on his social media feed became toxicity as he dove headfirst into dangerous territory.

He was no longer picking out his flaws but was instead recklessly taking action. His workouts became more frequent until they consumed his free time. He made sure that the workouts targeted the areas that he was the most insecure about and even when he was out of breath from them he made sure to push himself harder picturing the body that he wanted as a goal. Even then it wasn't good enough because even after all the working out he was still unhappy. The compulsive working out fueled him to counting calories. Which was something that those around him seemed to faintly notice but not take much notice into.

Counting calories was great for him. It gave him a rush of power and a rush of being in control it didn't take long before the weight was dropping from his already small frame. The exercise and tracking of calories had worked fueling his addiction.

Before long he was letting go of all of the things he used to enjoy. He didn't treat himself to alcohol anymore to worried about his progress In losing weight. He no longer gave in to drinking white claw even when his concerned roommates bought it and tried tempting him into having some. His favorite foods no longer appealed to him.

He was spiraling out of control with no way to stop himself. The calorie counting had started off okay but he was now limiting himself under his daily calorie intake. It was alarming in itself but he was too involved. The side effects didn't seem to stop him either, the constant feeling of fatigue, grouchiness, and feeling of an empty stomach didn't stop him from his self-destruction.

The weight continued dropping alarmingly.

But he couldn't see that he was more than his body he couldn't see that his weight didn't define him.

His only hope was that someone would finally see through everything he'd been keeping to himself before it was too late.