A Spell of Hate

Blood (I)

Cal

I stayed in the bathroom until the tardy bell rang for the next class. It wasn't difficult to sit in silence with my thoughts. There are many.

Malikah... Siphon... the dream had been real. She had wanted me in that life, wanted to soothe my beast and ease my burdens. She had seen me, the real me, and wasn't afraid, wasn't disgusted. I'd been so blessed in that life--at least the little I'd dreamed. What had happened? Why had we hated each other on sight in this life? What had I done? How had I fucked it up? 

Did I stand a chance with her now, in this life? No, of course I didn't. She was in love with that Vampire, and I... well I was a fuck up.

"She'd been mine," I whispered, eyes on the ceiling as I desperately tried to remember every foggy bit of the dream I'd had that weekend.

How had she looked at me? Had she smiled? Had it reached her eyes? Had her eyes really darkened with desire for me?

Maybe it was enough, knowing that she'd wanted me once upon a time, that in another life I'd been worthy of her trust, her friendship, her touch... her love?

Had she loved me?

A raging ache grew in my heart, swift and stabbing, deep and gnawing. I embraced it, embraced the ability to feel the longing, the loss of something I'd never even allowed myself to think I'd have.

"It's enough," I told myself, arms wrapped tightly around my body. "It's enough."

Maybe if I said it enough times I'd start to believe it.

When the tardy bell finally rang, I craned my ears for movement. Hearing none, I clicked open the lock and exited my stall, pausing at the bathroom door.

"Come on, Cal, you can't stay in here forever," I murmured to myself. Still, my hand froze just before touching the door handle.

After another moment of hesitation, I heard footsteps. Before I could decide what to do, the door slammed open, and Tucker walked in with Gore right behind him.

Gore paused, eyeing me up and down, "Well, what do we have here?"

"I was just leaving," I told him, trying to make my voice as even as possible, trying to pretend like I hadn't just spent the last ten minutes drying my eyes so I could pretend I hadn't been crying.

"Oh, not yet," Gore said, halting me with a hand on my chest.

A low growl of warning rumbled in my throat as I raised my eyes to meet his.

He grinned, but it wasn't a humorous gesture--it was mean.

"Grab him," Gore demanded.

Tucker grabbed my arms in a death grip, pinning me so that no matter how I struggled, I couldn't get free.

"What the hell, Tucker?" I demanded.

"Found me a new alpha," Tucker grunted. "One that doesn't cry like a little bitch."

"Right," Gore agreed, taking a moment to look me up and down. "So, the beta's a cry baby. That's fucking pathetic, don't you think, Tuck?"

"Yeah, Gore."

"Should we give him something to cry about?"

***

Malikah

Pain ripped through my head so suddenly I literally fell out of my seat.

I gripped my head as my vision swam and nausea spiraled through my stomach.