The Blue Siren and the Winter Soldier | Bucky Barnes x OC

Part 7

Bucky and I sat in my music studio, him reclining on the couch with my copy of 1984 in hand, and me sitting at my keyboard. I had my headphones on and finished tracking some keys for a song I was working on. Technically, my studio was the attic of a Circle K convenience store that I rented out for a discounted price since the utilities didn't work. Nothing a little magic couldn't fix, though. It was small, but it was a fun project for me to complete. I had a black faux leather couch set in the center of the room, where Bucky was sitting, with a low glass coffee table between them. Along the back wall was my production space that included a double monitor PC setup and large speakers. My recording booth was in the right back corner. LED lights lined the ceiling, creating a relaxing ambiance. I had spent a long time making this space my own and saving up for this equipment. However, it never hurts to use a little magic to decorate.

It was rare that Bucky and I got time alone together to just relax, but we had met up pretty early in the day and I decided to show him the studio. I found it harder with each passing day to continue on with my work while simultaneously focusing on this Super Soldier problem. I still had deadlines that needed to be met, so if that meant that I had to bring my boyfriend to work, then so be it.

Bucky closed his book and got up off the couch, "Will you play me something?" He asked as he sat next to me.

I felt my cheeks burn red, "I don't really play in front of people." I turned off my headphones and disconnected them from my keyboard.

He pressed a couple random keys, "I don't see you as the shy type." There was a playfulness to his voice.

I straightened my shoulders and placed both hands on the keys. I accepted his challenge, even though I knew he was just poking fun at me. I played a slow melody, one that I had been writing for a while but couldn't find the right lyrics for. I took a deep breath and began, "I'm drowning in the shallows, down below. My head resting on the glass coral pillows. Body still visible in the moon's astral glow. I'm drowning, down below. I'm drowning, I feel at home." I was quiet at first, only using my head voice as I thought carefully about the chords I was playing.

"Tide pulling in, Sinking deeper in sin. How do I find the air before I die? Tied by fear, in the murky clear. How long do I have before I disappear?

I'm drowning in the shallows, down below. My head resting on the glass coral pillows. Body still visible in the moon's astral glow. Tide pulling near, Sinking deeper, my dear. When will I find peace before I die? Riddled with fear, my thoughts are unclear. Nothing, no one, as I disappear."

By the end of the second verse I was full belting, letting the words flow out of me as I moved my hands along the keyboard. I didn't want to sing the full song, so I stopped right before the second chorus. I turned to Bucky, who had a strange look on his face. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Wow." He finally said. He cleared his throat. "I mean...wow. I didn't expect that."

"You didn't like it?" I asked. Bold of me, I know.

"Elliana, that was beautiful. You wrote that?"

I took a breath of relief, "It's a song I've been working on, but it's not done yet." I placed my hands back on the keyboard, "This is one I co-wrote with a local rock band. It's one of my favorites." I began playing another song, titled Horror. "Remember the moments we spent together, Were they as perfect as you recall? Or were they broken and battered. Like my voice echoing through the halls?

I couldn't believe you'd leave me be. Under the fire, reigning down upon me. There's no going back, and no amends to be made. Our paths severed by a titanium blade. You cared for me then buried me alive.

I'm in horror. I cannot breathe down here. I'm in horror. My eyes burn from the tears. Nothing but terror. Your heart bleeds only black. I'm in horror. I should have killed you when I had the chance."

This was a very emotional song. I loved it for that exact reason. It was about being betrayed by the very person who vowed to protect you. The studio version was a lot heavier and way more cinematic, but there was something special about the striped down version that really resonated with me. The build up of emotion from the pre-chorus to the chorus was one of my favorite things about the track. I was so grateful to have worked on that project.

I finished the song. I turned back to Bucky, who was sitting quietly. "It's probably not your cup of tea," I said.

"I don't know too much about music," He said, "But your songs are very raw.  They make me feel what you're feeling."

I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked down at my hands. I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was embarrassment or gratitude. Perhaps both. "My music is influenced by...things I've been through. It's a way for me to open up, I guess."

Bucky smiled, "It's healing for you," It was more of a statement rather than a question.

I nodded, looking up at the wall in front of me, it's colors shifting from the LED lights running behind my stereo system, "When I moved here after Kol and Madelaine died, music was all I had to keep me sane."

"What happened to them?" Bucky said softly.

Part of me didn't want to answer. If I opened that path of conversation, I had no idea if I was going to be able to stop. But as I looked at him I noticed his facial features, which were usually dark and cold, were instead welcoming and compassionate. His gray eyes searched mine, perhaps looking for truth or rawness. He deserved that much. So finally I detailed the whole story, "5 years ago, Kol and I went on a...I guess you could call it a mission. We specialized in tracking down ancient and magical artifacts for people, so this wasn't out of the ordinary for us.  We were working with one of his friends, Roman, to find this ancient city. It's commonly regarded as a myth--The Kingdom of the Clouds," I described the myth of this place to Bucky, who was listening intently. I spoke of how not only was the Kingdom of the Clouds real, but it's people were benevolent, almost too much so. "Kol and I didn't know it actually existed, so imagine our surprise when Roman had separate plans to ambush the castle and steal their riches. He set off explosives that ended up killing both Kol and Madelaine. Maddie was killed instantly, while Kol held on for about 24 hours before..." I trailed off, feeling tears hit my cheeks and I thought back to that day. "I still hear the screams of those people in my dreams," I whispered. I could still see the crying mothers, the lifeless bodies, the terrified children, all circling around in my mind. I could smell the smoldering of the explosives and the metallic scent of blood. My emotions continued to spiral, however, as Bucky pulled a strand of hair behind my ear. He cupped my face and I turned to look at him.

"It wasn't your fault, Elliana," He said as if reading my mind, "You aren't responsible for the death of those people."

I didn't say anything. Wasn't I? I aided Roman. He manipulated me and brought me along to shift the blame on to. Our actions not only caused the death of my closest friends, but all of those innocent people. It was my fault. I had to figure out how to come to terms with that.

I kissed Bucky, aching for personal touch. He kissed me back and I shifted so I was straddling him. We kissed until Bucky leaned a little too far back and the bench tilted backwards. I gasped and wrapped my arms around his neck. In one quick movement he reached his arms out on either side of me and grabbed the keyboard to steady us. We laughed and continued kissing. We eventually made our way to the couch.

When we were finished, Bucky got a call as I put my sweater back on. He was shirtless, only in his boxers, and sat up on the couch. "Hey Sam," He said, "Uh, I'm out..." He glanced at me, his mind racing. I mouthed coffee to him. "...Getting coffee." He said. He didn't sound very convincing. "Yeah. On my way." Bucky hung up. "That was Sam. He found the location of the lab." He stood up and grabbed his pants off the ground.

"That was quick," I remarked. I tied up my boots.

Bucky shrugged, "We're kind of on borrowed time. We're lucky the tracker even worked."

"You think we'll actually get some answers?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

"We better." He slipped on his shirt and his silver dog tags disappeared from sight, "Or we'll be right back to square one. But I have a call to make first."